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The Onion - Image Gallery Page 4

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Government to confiscate one person's guns

Government To Confiscate One Person's Guns Just To Make Rest Of Them Squirm Tllns AT GENT The ATFsaysfinding outjust how apoplectic the nation's gun owners become will be well worth the raid's$19 million price tag. WASHINGTON-Saying they can't wait to see the looks on the faces of the nation's most avid gun enthusiasts, top government officials outlined their plan Wednesday to confiscate the legal firearms of one American citizen just to make the rest of them squirm.

Security Hacks

Latest Online Security Breach Forces Mom To Change Post-It NEWS IN PHOTOS Local Technology Internet ISSUE 50 31 Aug 7, 2014 Share on Twitter gt Share on Facebook 27.1K 885 242

A important life lesson

HR Sends Out Reminder Email About Not Scrawling Revenge' In Blood In Conference Room NEWS IN BRIEF September 12, 2014 VOL 50 ISSUE 36 Local Mental Health Workplace ONION VIDE JEFFREYP TOP NEWS 6-Year-Old Dat:a Entertaining Off Agencies SPOKANE, WA-After the eighth such incident this year, Vista Consulting Partners human resources director Beth Shumaker sent out a company-wide email Thursday reminding employees not to scrawl the word "revenge" in blood across any surface in the conference room. "Most of you are already familiar with this rule, but just as a refresher, it's directly against company policy for an employee to use blood to write revenge' on the conference room walls, door, or table," wrote Shumaker, emphasizing that it did not matter if the word was rendered in human or animal blood. "Remember that we all use this room, and it's inconsiderate to force your colleagues to delay their meeting to scrub revenge' off the whiteboard or windows." Shumaker added that any employee who wanted revenge should simply carve the word into the forehead of his or her supervisor.

The Onion is two for two.

Admit It: You People Want To See How Far This Goes, Don't You? theonion.com

I dunno, some title

Study: U.S. Wastes 2 Million Hours Annually Figuring Out Where Tape Roll Starts the ONION

"FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In The United States: Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon"

The Onion delivers.

Teacher Who Dedicates Life To Students Total F------ Bitch NEWS IN BRIEF Local Education Human Interest Kids ISSUE 51-09-Mar 2, 2015 f Share on Facebook Share on Twitter 8' randomfandomteacher: theonion MERIDIAN, ID Students at Union Junior High School reported Monday that eighth-grade history teacher Evelyn Carmody, a tireless educator who has dedicated her whole life to the vocation of teaching, is a total goddamn bitch. T f------ hate her, 14 year-old Scaret Ramsey said of the woman who not only stays up wel past midhight providing individual feeaback on each paper she grades, but also sets aside nearly $1,000 of her income each year to buy books and basic supplies for students who can't afford them. "Give us homework over a three-day weekend? Who does that bitch think she is? hope she dies. Sources also stated that eighth-grade English teacher Mark Bradstone, who doean't really give a s--- about his job and shows up hungover most momings, is super popular and very cool. Oh my God YESSSSSSSSSSS This what I hear when you all post s--- about your teachers

U.S. Mint Introduces New Double-Stuf Quarters

U.S. Mint Introduces New Double-Stuf Quarters NEWS IN PHOTOS Government Money News ISSUE 51-05 Feb 5,2015 UNITED STATES MINT

It's... The Onion...

via Jay James 7 hrs. I say b------- Study Finds 90% Of Adopted Children's Biological Parents Own Mansions THEONION.COM Share It's...The Onion Jay 7 hrs Sande 1 hr Jay 1 hr James 1 hr 1 Jay 1 hr Jay 56 mins Total BS!!! Again...it's The Onion Jay I am afraid their research may be flawed My god...it's The Onion. Hello...earth to Starke County LOL!! www.theonion.com

Health experts

Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back NEWS IN BRIEF Health Fitness Lifestyle ISSUE 51.05 Feb 6,2015 f Share on Facebook Share on Twitter

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