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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 8

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watch his milk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:01:05 No.848384941 hey can you guys watch my milk for me, I gotta step out for a minute Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:04:49 No.848385185 File: 2021-02-26.png (464 KB, 640x610) >>848385697 Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:13:36 No.848385697 File: sade jpg (67 KB, 1024x962) >>848385185 y drink milk? he say watch it no drink pls

Anon uses the handicap stall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:14:38 No.848385770 /AUG - Autism General/ >be me this afternoon >taking a s--- in handicapped stall >finish, exit stall >middle aged man with crutches and a boot patiently waiting >panic >feel the need to say something 26 KB JPG >mfw the best thing I could think of was "seat's warm for ya, bud!" I can already feel this will bother me for the rest of my life

Anon wants to buy cigarettes | /r/Greentext

>be me >go to variety store for pack of smokes >clerk won't sell cigarettes to some 25 year old kid >kid gets upset and starts screaming "suck my d---! suck my d---! suck my d---! suck my d---! suck my d---!" >I start to get upset >suddenly blurt out "IF YOU DON'T STOP WHINING I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND AND THERE WILL BE NO DISNEYLAND!!" >everyone in the store stares at me >kid says "what the f--- did you just f------ say to me bro?" >stand there and silently stare at him >He says "what? What? WHAT?" each 'what' getting angrier than the last one >continue staring at him uncomfortably >Kid says "who the f--- do you think you are to talk to me?" >I retardedly yell "I AM YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL EAT YOUR VEGETABLES" >everyone in store says 'w--' >continue staring at the kid >he says "dude l'll f------ fight you outside" >thinking quickly I respond "THEN WE SHALL DO BATTLE IN THE PIT OF VARNOTH FOR THE LOCKNAR TROPHY" >"What the f--- are you talking about?" >l buy my pack of smokes and go outside >He's not out there >get in my car and drive to work

anon has 200iq | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 05/21/17(Sun)14:36:47 No.733287790 >go on akinator akmatur >say yes when asked if your character is a p----star >answer in accordance to what you want your p----star to look like >akinator gives you a hand-picked p----star to fit your preferences 14 KB JPG >profit

Anon is fast as heck boiiiii | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/17/13(Fri)15:28 No.12646957 One time I perpetrated a reality glitch on my gf. >Be in college >Walk gf to bus stop that takes her to the building her classroom is in. (It's a big college.) >She gets on bus. >i start sprinting towards a bike I had placed hours earlier at a bike rack. >Look behind me as I ride away, bus doesn't leave until about 30 seconds after I take off. >Make it to the building (1 mile from where I started) >Quickly lock bike up and go just inside the doorway of the building. >See bus approaching. >Walk outside >Just happen to run into gf >Say hey, what's up? >She is visibly shaken, and asks how I got here. >l explain that I had to use the building's computer lab after class and was just leaving. >She says she was just talking to me 3 minutes ago. >l just roll my eyes, chuckle and walk away. >Later learn she had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. >I haven't told her what really happened to this day.

Anon has found meaning | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/18(Mon)13:14:04 No.10598617 Uncrustables are the only thing keeping me alive at this point. This isn't a f------ joke every day I wake up, go to the same s----- school full of s----- people who ll think their better than one another, 49 KB PNG full of teachers who either don't want to be their either or hate you, spend time with people who don't like me and who I don't like, then go home, cry in the shower for an hour, then engage in a sorry attempt at studying, all for what? All for the f------ uncrustables, every day, twice a day, those absolute godsends of treats get me through my miserable f------ life, the sweetness of the jelly matched with the saltiness of the peanut butter, all on soft, round bread pockets. God isn't real, heaven isn't real, only uncrustables are real View Thread

4chan just got ptsd | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_20210226_123453.png (731 KB, 820x591) O THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE Anony >THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE >THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE >THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE >THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE >THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE >THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE >THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE >THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE THE TREES LOOK EVEN WORSE

Anon can't find a dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)21:19:41 No.62508930 >trying to buy weed >finally get in contact with a dealer since people stopped being flakey/paranoid for 5 f------ minutes 148 KB JPG >buy two ounces from the guy >come back next week, buy two more ounces. >Two weeks pass >this week now. Ask him if he has anything else. >"Yeah, got stuff but you keep buying out my inventory... I can't sell more to you, bro." >mfw WHY NOT TAKE THE MONEY I GIVE YOU AND JUST ORDER MORE INVENTORY SO YOU MAKE A BIGGER PROFIT IF YOUR DEMAND IS THIS HIGH!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGGH WHY ARE YOU CUTTING ME OUT!? It took me half a year just to get this f------ guy in my contacts, f--- f--- F--- why is it so hard to meet people to buy weed from this is STUPID.

Anon is satisfied | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 836589412 >be me >wanted to try greentexting >done

Anon recreates Auschwitz | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)22:06:13 No.62513700 >Be me on bus >Middle of winter so bus is heated to 90 degrees >Crammed full of people standing shoulder to shoulder >Feel a tummy grumble >Lean a bit to spread cheeks so no noise escapes >Nice and quiet >Know it's going to be RANK >First pasanger starts to notice and wrinkles her nose >Then 5 >Then 10 >People now gagging trying to get away from the smell >Join in the theatrics but secretly laughing as they all gag on my gas F----- turned that bus into an Auschwitz shower stall

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