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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 5

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Anon buys condoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)21:11:48 No.68083379 >be me 21 y/o skinny male >one of my coworkes asked me if i can get him a pack of condoms >accept and go to the nearest store >stacy cashier at the check out >happen to have long hair cuz lazy and trying to save up money >also arranged my hair into a ponytail (been wolf 83 KB JPG whistled at cuz of this) >wearing a mask + backwards cap so my ponytail sticks out >cashier asked me if the xxl condom pack is for my boyfriend >think shes being ironic and say yes in a deep manly voice >"you're a man!?" >everybody in the store stares at me >realise what I just did and get out asap Should I start an OF?

Anon remembers the good days | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)09:42:09 No.68082245 >it's 2015 >You just got home from school >Boot up CSGO >Join a casual death match to warm up >DONALD_2016 with a pepe pfp is spamming crank that moon man on the 24 KB JPG mic >You type "top kek" into the chat Life is good

Alienanon is retarded | /r/Greentext

1487814942468 jpg (11 KB, 247x327) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 69LMHPIK) 02/22/17(Wed)19:53:55 No.113899337 >>113900328 >>113900346 >>113900361 >>113900362 >>113900564 >>113900 >>113902357 >>113902550 >>113903181 >>113903295 Be prepared. This is not a warning, this is a threat. We are coming. We will not be persuaded by your leaders or your people. You have been waned. Anonymous (ID: EBF2YQ/3) 1 02/22/17(Wed)19:54:36 No.113899432 Anonymous (ID: 4qAUTGgi) 02/22/17(Wed)20:15:05 No. 113902240 113899432 aliens confirmed retarded >2113899337 (OP) >this is not a warning >you have been warned

Anon is a man | /r/Greentext

Anon thinks he's funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)01:48:14 No.875706900 I f------ hate being autistic >Be me >Go to uni >One day go to an older campus building with one of my bros >See 2 qts, I've never actually spoken to them but I've definitely 1.7 MB JPG recognised them over time >One of them particularly is an absolute 10/10, really nice and also appears to be single >We're waiting for the same study hall to open and begin to talk >My bros doing most of the talking >Realise I have to say something both funny and makes me seem smart >Because it's an old campus, there's a grandfather clock on the wall with a visible pendulum >"See that pendulum, it's frequency is actually one over the time period of an oscillation, of course, being female, you know about a different kind of period" >While they look confused and slightly creeped out, it gets worse >The punchline hits me and I'm wheezing with laughter at my own joke. >Like going red and losing control of my legs >Now they're just watching me and walking away as I'm going full 2019 Joker on the floor at my s----- attempt at humour >Later, my bros mad at me for "cockblocking" him but I'm still laughing heavily while typing this

Anon's therapist plays games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)13:55:33 No.594567983 >therapist asks what I do for fun >tell her I like to play video games >"oh, like Dwarf Fortress and Katawa Shoujo?" 129 KB PNG

Anon has a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?

4chan is only for smart people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:08:16 No.14364575 Why can't you mix a lot of fertilized eggs and make one large chicken? 18 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:23:07 No.14364607 of course you can, just try : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:37:46 No.14364655 this is how donosaurs were maked

Anon gets in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)14:33:52 No.162103421 >tfw sitting in the park reading a book >little girl comes up to me and asks what im reading >explain to her what cognitive therapy is >she starts crying >parents come over and accuse 64 KB JPG me of being a p--- >due in court on the 18th of next month

Anon violates the Geneva Convention | /r/Greentext

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