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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 4

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Anon plays super smash bros | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)21:33:59 No.850171125 >be me >casually talk to my twink roommate after football match >invites me to play batsu game on super smash bros >whoever did lose the set,gotta drink 2 vodka shots >after 10 rounds we were super waster and tipsy >we both start feeling an electric current in the air as both our body temperature raised up >we had sex >yesterday >woke up next to him today >cuddle a little cuz why not >we had sex again >It was hot as f---, but I want to kill myself because l'm not a homosexual What do,im not gay and i don't want other people to find out, especially my super-conservative family

Anon's friend almost dies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 850189907 9 min. ago •.. Alright boys, here's a quick story about the time one of my dearest friends almost died >Be me, 17 >Play tf2 a lot >One day meet another guy, about 21 or so >We start calling an annoying kid a n----- in chat until he leaves >Laugh a lot then become friends >Didn't expect it to last as all tf2 friendships are casual >Thing keeps going, he messages me everyday and we eventually trade instagrams MOCHTON 127.0 kB JPG I know, f----- up right there 1 REPLY 2 IMAGES REPLY 8 min. ago ... Anonymous | 850189977 (continuation) >Turns out he is actually 22, reverse search pictures, no result, this guy seems legit >You can probably see where this is going >Everything goes fine for about a year or so, we talk a lot and become great friends >Tells me about how he got a trad gf and was planning on having kids and everythingi went well for him 61.3 kB JPG >He sent me some money at one point to help me fund my studies >At some point realize this guy is pretty rich >Ask him how he is so rich at such a young age >Reluctant, keep asking but dodges question >Tells me about how he likes to iron naked in front of the tv because f--- all >I remember that in particular because it made me laugh my ass off >Eventually go to Uni, guy wants to fund everything >l tell him that I really don't want free money, it makes me feel bad but I needed a roommate to help me pay for an apartment >Out of the blue offers himself >Not even surprised, that's the kind of s--- he does >Say: what the hell, ok, let's do it >Tell him about my apartment on friday >He comes on sunday, first time meeting in person >Open the door >The dude is 6.3, super fit, wearing a hawaiian shirt, shorts and with a huge smile on his face Anonymous | 850190055 7 min. ago ... >ANO000ON! SA >hug him, we had waited for the day we could m meet for years, never really could cause complications >Guy brings with him his iron >Immediately recall that I still don't know what he does for a job >Eventually gives in and tells me >He works as a hitman >A f------ hitman >Don't believe him at first 460.9 kB PNG >Shows me his computer, and photos he has in his phone for some reason >Beautiful house, illegal guns, 9/10 qtrt >This guy is f------ amazing >Help him unpack his things >At one point ask him about other hitmen >Tells me that actually, it's fairly common for hitmen to hunt eachother, some thing that has to do with competition, sometimes contracts and sometimes even revenge >Tells me they actually tried to kill him multiple times but he always came on top >Also tells me I might have to hide him because he believes a guy nicknamed "The ranger" is looking for him >Mfw >Ask him why he came here then >Tells me It was just a slight suspicion, plus he was well covered and he really wanted to meet me >Not a p---- and love risky things so I just answered with risky things >Fast forward a couple days >Just got out from school, >Three calls lost from friend >Call back, answers yelling >He found him >Hear gunshots through the call >Tells me he's having a shooting inside my apartment with this guy >Automatically connect to a smart tv that has the function of camera >See everything >Fat guy, about 40, behind a counter >See friend grab the iron >He just throws it at the fat guy >Hot, he was ironing, remember when he told me about his hobby, look down and see him naked >He is having a shootout naked inside my apartment >Iron lands on fat guy's leg burns the s--- out if him and sticks >Friend tells me not to worry >Twenty men had tried to kill him >Twenty men had made a slip >Twenty one would be the ranger with >The big iron on his hip >Pic related

Anon tries online dating | /r/Greentext

Anon can't find the means to improve. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)08:46:33 No.62848347 [Reply] >>6284 >haha just improve guys Imao >cant afford a gym >can barely afford an apartment >college takes years >trades are painful and dangerous >socializing is impossible >artistic endeavors are a waste of time since they wont make you money >cant make my d--- bigger can l? + 40 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.

Anon is superior | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)18:57:34 No.850160077 >be me >have really retard memory >forget almost everything >my brain can't save anything at all >can rewatch tv shows and movies almost immediately after finishing it without remembering anything >so I have superior chad brain, you have p---- 51 KB JPG virgin brain

>reply⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)06:50:44 No.850126045 ► >>850126632 >>850134833 >>850135776 >>850140773 >>850144702 >>850149924 >>850150643 File: biden 9000.webm (633 KB, 400x400)-[Close] Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)12:01:32 No.850140773 >>850126045 >file name 0:11 / 0:15 *

Anon takes a quiz | /r/Greentext

20m (3/21 18:05) · 148373469 O Re · 0 Img · PNG · 315KB · (796 × 611) >take s----- "which character are you from X franchise" quiz >always comes back as female heroine I don't get it bros, I'm het as f--- and don't even fap to traps, what the f--- •..

Anon loves salt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i'm a salt freak 03/21/21(Sun)13:20:01 No.62850163 >be me >little vitamin deficient freak >i love salt so much >people are always like god man why are you putting salt on that ? >why so much salt?? >what are you doing??? 18 KB PNG >i say NO!!! >what are YOU doing?? >living a lackluster life without the gastronomical delight that is todays common iodized table salt?? >and theyll be all like >ohhh i need to watch my cholesterol >ohhhh i need to avoid sodium blah blah blah >i say NO!!!!! >what you NEED is some god damned salt!!!!

Anon works the suicide hotline | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/21(Sat)23:42:32 No.850113519 >Be Suicide hotline receptionist >Kid calls, sounds maybe 13 >"H...h...hello?" > "Thank you for calling the suicide hotline, how may we assist you?" >"I'm not sure what to do." >"Everyday seems like a bad day" > Kid then goes on to say how parents 108 KB JPG physically abuse him, bullied in school, watched sister get r----, Had stuff stolen etc. >"Can you please help me? I just need some motivation" >At this point he's crying >Tell him to grow some thick skin >"Just man up f------." >"W...w..what?" >"Jesus christ you're retarded, go suck a d---." >"That s--- gets you upset?" >"F--- off." >Kid hangs up Did I do good? Pic unrelated

Anon makes eye contact | /r/Greentext

File: url.jpg (10 KB, 243x207) Anonymous 03/28/15(Sat)15:27:42 No.606484350 [Reply] » 2606486101 >Be me in high school >be loner >be weirdo >be socially retarded >go to college >decide to work on social skills >start reading about how normies act >see that eye contact is important >see that normies think avoiding eye contact with them is insulting >decide to work on that first >every class of my first semester i sit at front of class >making eye contact with professors >professors giving a lecture >i'm making eye contact >professors answering a question >i'm making eye contact >do this for a few classes >eventually female professors start talking to me about their husbands/boyfriends for some reason >i feel good because people are sharing personal details with me >l feel like my eye contact is working on making me likable >male professors start talking to the class about their wives for some reason >they would always look at me while doing that >i would smile and nod to indicate i am interested in what they have to say (i read that somewhere) >2 years later >not completely a normie but not socially retarded anymore >be laying in bed >suddenly it hits me like 52 tons of bricks >mfw female professors thought that i was attracted to them >mfw male professors thought that i was attracted to them >mfw they would tell me about their So's to get me to stop staring at them >mfw i was sitting at the front of the class. >mfw they were freshmen classes so 100+ students >mfw my whole graduating class thinks that i am either a weirdo into older women or a f----- into older men

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