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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 3

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Anon is chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Almost dated a Jewess 08/15/18(Wed)14:40:06 No.47525658 This might be kinda long >be me >be your typical lonely 20-year-old 4channer >never had a gf but have always wanted one to be happy >honestly has brought me to our r9k level of misogyny 40 KB JPG >finally this year in class got near some qt who likes anime and artsy s--- >we hit it off. first time for this happening to me with a girl >she even laughs at my /pol/ memes >end of semester just now and we've decided to share phone numbers to hang this summer and maybe see a Ghibli movie >"want to call it a 'date'?" >"sure," she giggles as she puts her number and name into my phone >her last name is "Sachs" >"wait, you're a Jew?" >"yeah" she laughs >"I don't know about this" and I leave Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 54 Replies / 11 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/15/18(Wed)16:33:58 No.47527943 >>47525658 (OP) # Congrats for staying a virgin with us

Anon is a detective? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/19(Sun)16:28:17 No.801798926 >be about 10 >watched a lot of crime shows >see blood on the floor in the bathroom >like a movie detective stuck my finger in the blood then put it in my 384 KB PNG mouth to taste >yep that's blood >fast forward to adulthood >realize it was almost certainly my mom's period blood >>801799213 #

anon performs their civic duty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)15:31:11 No.850205024 stopped a r--- today lads >be me >3 hours ago or so >it's 1am >carry a small knife for protection (even though i'm 9 KB JPG a 6' poor looking ugly white guy) >walking through s----- neighbourhood >about another 20 mins from home >suddenly hear a woman scream >sound comes from an alley >quickly move to investigate. >looks like she's tripped over something and cut herself pretty bad >she says her phone has no reception >call her a taxi and keep walking home >don't r--- her i think i did pretty good bros, what do you think?

anon has sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)18:01:18 No.23809290 >Be me >War Veteran >Sexing at girlfren >Neighborhood kids set off fireworks >BOOM >INCOMING!!! >Dive under bed >Throw on plate carrier and grab AR >Still not wearing pants or undies >Girlfriend tries calm be down >Not working >Starts giving b------ >Starts working >Realize that the sound of her gagging on d--- is the auditory opposite of rockets raining down from that m------------ ridgeline outside of FOB Shank >ВOOM >COME GET THE SMOKE TALI!!! >Mag dump on neighbor kids through window literally blowing my load while blowing my load >Smuggle phone into jail in my prison wallet so I can shitpost while awaiting trial

/r9k/ ever so wholesome | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)17:35:26 No.62854780 ► >62855750 >be me depressed and s--- feels good >go on this board >realize im doing better than you guys >thanks /r9k/ for boosting my self esteem

Anon considers alternatives | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)20:30:02 No.62856871 ► >62856907 >>62857084 >Use tinder for weeks >Literally 0 matches or likes >Hanging out with friends >decide to switch tinder to search for guys as well as a joke >get 63 likes in less than an hour >Briefly feel attractive and desirable Sh.. should I swallow the f-- pill? Pic unrelated

Anon is massively confused | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] File: images.jpg (7 KB, 225x225) is this the real life Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:42:49 No.62847275 >have surgery on leg following workplace accident > they put me under general anesthesia first in order to prep me >wake up 1/2 hour later, get the feeling that I was just rambling on about something >ask my mom in the room what I was just saying >"you were talking about that demon slayer show you like" >realize that i had just described the plot to Demon Slayer out of nowhere while drugged >embarrassing because they don't know i watch anime but whatever >they take me to the operating room and put me under >wake up two hours later to a middle-aged nurse checking me over >get the feeling i was just saying something again >ask what i was talking about >"something about a demon slayer show" F--- >two days later >peek into mom's room to see if she needs anything >she's already on episode two did I ever really wake up

Anon takes the 2x pill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)19:10:33 No.62855991 ► >62856023 >>62856506 >>62856527 >>62856528 >>62856540 >watch all my youtube videos on 2x speed because I'm autistic and impatient for 5 years >everyone says I talk extremely fast now > I never stutter because talking at normal speed feels like talking at half speed for me, so I get more time to think about what I say Take the 2x pill

Anon plays TF2 | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/04/16(Mon)01:46:55 No.661277454 ITT: Best online gaming experiences >Playing TF2 >Set my name to President Donald Trump >Join red team >Start talking to the guys on my team >Start saying we need to build a wall to keep the terrorists out >Entire team becomes engineers >We fortify the everloving s--- out of our intel room with sentry guns and dispensers >Entire game I was the top player on my team >Vote kicked a kid on our team who said he was Mexican

Anon has a bad day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)21:43:14 No.850171706 >wake up >check phone >accidently open camera >see face >day ruined anyone else know this feel?

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