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Anon Misses Elvira | /r/Greentext

File: 1710078081945385 (4).jpg (39 KB, 462x698) Anonymous 07/11/24(Thu)17:58:11 No.201176627 >>201177052 >>201177103 >>201177279 >>201177473 >>201177486 >no Zoomer or Millennial replacement Anonymous 07/11/24(Thu)18:01:21 No.201176669 201177786 File: elderly-gentleman-grins-h(...).jpg (109 KB, 1300x957) alamy alamy alamy www.alarry.com >woman with big boobs pretending to like things for money from lonely men >not been replaced
File: 1710078081945385 (4).jpg (39 KB, 462x698) Anonymous 07/11/24(Thu)17:58:11 No.201176627 >>201177052 >>201177103 >>201177279 >>201177473 >>201177486 >no Zoomer or Millennial replacement Anonymous 07/11/24(Thu)18:01:21 No.201176669 201177786 File: elderly-gentleman-grins-h(...).jpg (109 KB, 1300x957) alamy alamy alamy www.alarry.com >woman with big boobs pretending to like things for money from lonely men >not been replaced

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Anon learns about dinosaurs | /r/Greentext

>standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk >try not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf >recess is over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home >tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out >tells my dad >i've made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs johnson >be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way >we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground >she tells me to take my pants off >lol wut > ask her why >tells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off
>standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk >try not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf >recess is over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home >tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out >tells my dad >i've made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs johnson >be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way >we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground >she tells me to take my pants off >lol wut > ask her why >tells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off

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Death is preferable to a medical bill | /r/Greentext

39 KB JPG >finish putting up my "We Don't Call 911" sign >fall off ladder on my way down and break my leg > my wife runs out in a panic >she looks up at the sign and looks back at me >she knows what I must do and hands me my pistol >I'm sorry Angela >wife runs back inside with tears rolling down her face >tell my children to go in the house >"We don't dial 911" I s-- as I put the barrel in my mouth > God Bless America
39 KB JPG >finish putting up my "We Don't Call 911" sign >fall off ladder on my way down and break my leg > my wife runs out in a panic >she looks up at the sign and looks back at me >she knows what I must do and hands me my pistol >I'm sorry Angela >wife runs back inside with tears rolling down her face >tell my children to go in the house >"We don't dial 911" I s-- as I put the barrel in my mouth > God Bless America

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They never wait long enough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 220 KB JPG TV now? 04/18/24(Thu)06:54:40 No.198358421 >anon, what are you doing with that really long cable from behind your TV? >oh you're just charging your laptop? >wait...what do you mean the movie will come from the laptop? >w-- why is your laptop on the >ummm why does your browser have like 50 tabs open? >we have to wait for what? a torrent? >anon just open netflix??? >anon I don't know what a VPN is or why it's not working right now. >ok anon I gotta go now, bye Door closes.
: Anonymous 220 KB JPG TV now? 04/18/24(Thu)06:54:40 No.198358421 >anon, what are you doing with that really long cable from behind your TV? >oh you're just charging your laptop? >wait...what do you mean the movie will come from the laptop? >w-- why is your laptop on the >ummm why does your browser have like 50 tabs open? >we have to wait for what? a torrent? >anon just open netflix??? >anon I don't know what a VPN is or why it's not working right now. >ok anon I gotta go now, bye Door closes.

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Anon reflects on LotR | /r/Greentext

File: Gothmog.jpg (111 KB, 842x883) Anonymous 07/11/24(Thu)01:28:18 No.921155661 > Has mighty battering ram Grond > Forged of black-steel and spells of ruin > Has trolls haul it all the way from Mordor and ships it over the river Anduin > Leads it right to gates of Minas Tirith > Has forces smash the gate with the other, smaller ram from day till dusk > Small ram fails, because blood of Númenor > OK fine, we'll use the ram we brought exactly for this task No wonder these idiots lost the war
File: Gothmog.jpg (111 KB, 842x883) Anonymous 07/11/24(Thu)01:28:18 No.921155661 > Has mighty battering ram Grond > Forged of black-steel and spells of ruin > Has trolls haul it all the way from Mordor and ships it over the river Anduin > Leads it right to gates of Minas Tirith > Has forces smash the gate with the other, smaller ram from day till dusk > Small ram fails, because blood of Númenor > OK fine, we'll use the ram we brought exactly for this task No wonder these idiots lost the war

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The missing link | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/24(Wed)17:48:07 No.16815811 images.jpg 13 KB JPG >fourty thousand hundred million years of carving stones to fit on the front of a stick >Suddenly, five thousand years ago BOOM PYRAMIDS. WOAH!!! Doesn't something here not add up?
: Anonymous 07/03/24(Wed)17:48:07 No.16815811 images.jpg 13 KB JPG >fourty thousand hundred million years of carving stones to fit on the front of a stick >Suddenly, five thousand years ago BOOM PYRAMIDS. WOAH!!! Doesn't something here not add up?

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Why no war in Star WARS? | /r/Greentext

File: Star WARS.png (283 KB, 411x310) I just want a scifi movie about WAR and tactics Anonymous 06/25/24(Tue)14:29:19 No.200465772 ► So yesterday I was searching for a cool war movie in space, a there was NOTHING. >Not a single Space-Band-of-Brothers-like >or Legend of the Galactic Heroes' live action. Only some space-antifa or space-cowboy and I can't understand why? WHY we can't have a good scifi-war movie? Not even Star WARS is about war, is just space antifas jumping from one planet's third-world s------- from another planet's third-world s------- and sometimes you see Corus-c--- because 'member the Prequels, 'member OT...
File: Star WARS.png (283 KB, 411x310) I just want a scifi movie about WAR and tactics Anonymous 06/25/24(Tue)14:29:19 No.200465772 ► So yesterday I was searching for a cool war movie in space, a there was NOTHING. >Not a single Space-Band-of-Brothers-like >or Legend of the Galactic Heroes' live action. Only some space-antifa or space-cowboy and I can't understand why? WHY we can't have a good scifi-war movie? Not even Star WARS is about war, is just space antifas jumping from one planet's third-world s------- from another planet's third-world s------- and sometimes you see Corus-c--- because 'member the Prequels, 'member OT...

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Anon is losing it | /r/Greentext

File: 00fSDFwYXA90||JhC-e3uzzZ5(...).png (155 KB, 473x336) ☐ Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)16:03:41 No.78111465 >still no 15 year old girlfriend ☐ Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)16:18:19 No.78111608 >>78111465 (OP) >15 year old girlfriend Way too old
File: 00fSDFwYXA90||JhC-e3uzzZ5(...).png (155 KB, 473x336) ☐ Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)16:03:41 No.78111465 >still no 15 year old girlfriend ☐ Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)16:18:19 No.78111608 >>78111465 (OP) >15 year old girlfriend Way too old

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BBC Planet | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous David Attenborough be like 590 KB PNG ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/10/24(Wed)15:10:44 No.78110967 >On the sidewalk, right next to a liquor store. >A large American n---- is pacing back and fourth. >The American n---- is highly territorial. >Countless scars, remanence of so called "turf wars" Testify that life has not been kind to this young male, and he's desperately searching for conflict. >A young Asian male approaches. While intellectually superior, physically, the much smaller Asian male is hopelessly outmatched. >A direct confrontation would mean certain death. >The Asian male perceives the danger instantly and switches sidewalks. >Just a few meters down the road, a young White male observes the situation from a safe distance. >He is unsure how to proceed. >The large n---- male is standing next to his car, effectively obstructing his escape route. >Then, Finally. The young white male musters up his courage and slowly moves closer. >Any noise or sudden movement could potentially ignite the n---- males strong, territorial instincts, and lead to a dire fight over life and death. >Suddenly, two heavily overweight white females appear seemingly out of nowhere, attracting the n---- males undivided attention. >The young white male seizes the opportunity and enters his car unnoticed by the large n---- male. >He will spend the night in safety in white suburbia. >Also climate crisis >Our planet >Blah blah blah >human bad
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous David Attenborough be like 590 KB PNG ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/10/24(Wed)15:10:44 No.78110967 >On the sidewalk, right next to a liquor store. >A large American n---- is pacing back and fourth. >The American n---- is highly territorial. >Countless scars, remanence of so called "turf wars" Testify that life has not been kind to this young male, and he's desperately searching for conflict. >A young Asian male approaches. While intellectually superior, physically, the much smaller Asian male is hopelessly outmatched. >A direct confrontation would mean certain death. >The Asian male perceives the danger instantly and switches sidewalks. >Just a few meters down the road, a young White male observes the situation from a safe distance. >He is unsure how to proceed. >The large n---- male is standing next to his car, effectively obstructing his escape route. >Then, Finally. The young white male musters up his courage and slowly moves closer. >Any noise or sudden movement could potentially ignite the n---- males strong, territorial instincts, and lead to a dire fight over life and death. >Suddenly, two heavily overweight white females appear seemingly out of nowhere, attracting the n---- males undivided attention. >The young white male seizes the opportunity and enters his car unnoticed by the large n---- male. >He will spend the night in safety in white suburbia. >Also climate crisis >Our planet >Blah blah blah >human bad

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where is what? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 74 KB JPG 07/25/17(Tue)11:59:06 No.740046744 >be me >smokin some of that giggle bush >super high, dont realize that the smoke has drifted under the door of the apt >neighbors call police >wth >police knock, I open door Hello sir. We received a call about you smoking cannabis. I can smell it already, so just come with me Anon. >mind races No officer, this is a magic bag of weed. >he steps in, asks Now how tf is that? >start explaining Officer, when I try to get rid of it, it just reappears in my pocket. I'll prove it! >he gets the face, pic related >bring him to bathroom Watch >throw bag in toilet, flush, then do nothing >he looks around confused Where are the drugs Anon? >mfw it worked What drugs?
Anonymous 74 KB JPG 07/25/17(Tue)11:59:06 No.740046744 >be me >smokin some of that giggle bush >super high, dont realize that the smoke has drifted under the door of the apt >neighbors call police >wth >police knock, I open door Hello sir. We received a call about you smoking cannabis. I can smell it already, so just come with me Anon. >mind races No officer, this is a magic bag of weed. >he steps in, asks Now how tf is that? >start explaining Officer, when I try to get rid of it, it just reappears in my pocket. I'll prove it! >he gets the face, pic related >bring him to bathroom Watch >throw bag in toilet, flush, then do nothing >he looks around confused Where are the drugs Anon? >mfw it worked What drugs?

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