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Anon is a retard savant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book. >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately? 27 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)17:14:15 No.855313589 >be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study >smoke weed and eat churros >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book. >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately? 27 KB JPG

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Anon takes a blood test | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous High Test Isn't Always a Good (...) 138 KB JPG >be me >24 year old >got married a few months ago >was a neet before but really got my life together >work out to get in shape >get some bloodwork done >have high testosterone >like really high 04/03/23 (Mon)07:22:52 No.72809786 >doc says to take it easy and to eat some onions every now and then >not literally onions, but like other s--- to lower it >ignore him >love my wife >she loves me >at random last week, I wet the bed >w--.jpg >had not wet the bed since I was like 6 >go to doctor >checks my prostate and PSA levels >bad news >run more tests >mri >finger in ass >more bloodwork >other s--- >"I'm sorry anon, you have prostate cancer" >remember my father had prostate cancer >could either chemically castrate myself >or physically castrate myself >didn't even get to have children with my wife >incredibly depressed I don't think this one has a happy ending bros.. Nice knowing ya.
: Anonymous High Test Isn't Always a Good (...) 138 KB JPG >be me >24 year old >got married a few months ago >was a neet before but really got my life together >work out to get in shape >get some bloodwork done >have high testosterone >like really high 04/03/23 (Mon)07:22:52 No.72809786 >doc says to take it easy and to eat some onions every now and then >not literally onions, but like other s--- to lower it >ignore him >love my wife >she loves me >at random last week, I wet the bed >w--.jpg >had not wet the bed since I was like 6 >go to doctor >checks my prostate and PSA levels >bad news >run more tests >mri >finger in ass >more bloodwork >other s--- >"I'm sorry anon, you have prostate cancer" >remember my father had prostate cancer >could either chemically castrate myself >or physically castrate myself >didn't even get to have children with my wife >incredibly depressed I don't think this one has a happy ending bros.. Nice knowing ya.

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Country music Anon | /r/Greentext

R: 0 You're as smoooth as Tennessee whiskey You're as sweeeeet as strawberry wine
R: 0 You're as smoooth as Tennessee whiskey You're as sweeeeet as strawberry wine

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Anon is getting back at a thief (kinda?) | /r/Greentext

09/17/22(Sat)03:37:36 No.70243683 >someone stole my sandwich for one week straight >ask HR for camera recording >it's Ahmed the Islam enjoyer >trap card: activated >make the pork as tendie as possible so it feels like chicken (40gr) >spread bacon grease on the both bread slice (7g) >2 drops of white wine alcohol : Anonymous 139 KB PNG >feed him for 8 months, he even brags about some infidels always prepare lunch for him so far he has consumed 7.680 kg (16.93 lbs) pork, 1.344 kg (2.96 lbs) of bacon grease and 1/9 of vinegar bottle. any Islamic scholars here know how deep in hell he is now? : Anonymous 70 KB JPG 09/17/22(Sat)03:46:07 No.70243717 >Feeds a thief so the spirit world will take vengeance on him as a ghost You really showed that guy.
09/17/22(Sat)03:37:36 No.70243683 >someone stole my sandwich for one week straight >ask HR for camera recording >it's Ahmed the Islam enjoyer >trap card: activated >make the pork as tendie as possible so it feels like chicken (40gr) >spread bacon grease on the both bread slice (7g) >2 drops of white wine alcohol : Anonymous 139 KB PNG >feed him for 8 months, he even brags about some infidels always prepare lunch for him so far he has consumed 7.680 kg (16.93 lbs) pork, 1.344 kg (2.96 lbs) of bacon grease and 1/9 of vinegar bottle. any Islamic scholars here know how deep in hell he is now? : Anonymous 70 KB JPG 09/17/22(Sat)03:46:07 No.70243717 >Feeds a thief so the spirit world will take vengeance on him as a ghost You really showed that guy.

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Anon is a scam artist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous wom 53 KB PNG 04/03/23(Mon)08:20:27 No.72810185 >be me >get a tinder date with a gamer girl >want to impress her with my vidya >poorfag only has 100 dollars in bank account >devise a scheme to look like a gigachad >start browsing for 100 dollar games on steam >download it, favourite it on my library, refund it >wait a few days and do it again with another game >in a few weeks I have thousands of dollars worth of games showing up in my steam library favourited >looks like ive purchased them >I bring my laptop to the coffee shop to brag about my expensive games collection >she looks at the titles and says theyre lame >asks how many hours I have of them >I start spilling spaghetti telling her I dont go on them much >before I can react she grabs the laptop and goes on my profile >0.0 hours on all games >she looks a bit confused >she then goes to steam library and notices theyre all not playable because refunded them >snap laptop shut and leave that was 30 mins ago. Can I still salvage this relationship after getting caught out bragging about games I dont own?? I told her I was a pro gamer with lots of games
Anonymous wom 53 KB PNG 04/03/23(Mon)08:20:27 No.72810185 >be me >get a tinder date with a gamer girl >want to impress her with my vidya >poorfag only has 100 dollars in bank account >devise a scheme to look like a gigachad >start browsing for 100 dollar games on steam >download it, favourite it on my library, refund it >wait a few days and do it again with another game >in a few weeks I have thousands of dollars worth of games showing up in my steam library favourited >looks like ive purchased them >I bring my laptop to the coffee shop to brag about my expensive games collection >she looks at the titles and says theyre lame >asks how many hours I have of them >I start spilling spaghetti telling her I dont go on them much >before I can react she grabs the laptop and goes on my profile >0.0 hours on all games >she looks a bit confused >she then goes to steam library and notices theyre all not playable because refunded them >snap laptop shut and leave that was 30 mins ago. Can I still salvage this relationship after getting caught out bragging about games I dont own?? I told her I was a pro gamer with lots of games

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Anon is bad at math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 40740166 5.9973753 PNG 10.1 kB 4 REPLIES 3 IMAGES Anonymous 40740195 >last year >see all the manlet memes around, laugh at them >wonder how tall I am, measure to 182ish cm >punch it into google >pic related >fall into a deep depression thinking im 5'9 >for a f------ year i thought i was 5'9 >started defending manlets on here to the degree that would disgust a CTR shill >one day a girl implies i'm tall >go home and measure myself, 184cm >I'm well over 6' >go back to bullying manlets on /fit/ 1 hr. ago my life is a f------ series of stupid greentexts like this how do i stop being an idiot? ps. best exercise for putting mass on my lanklet arms? atm just doing bench/ohp and 3 curl variations. Learn unit conversion for a start. Also 182 cm to feet is 5.97 feet. >5'11.5 >well over 6 feet What did he mean by this? 1 hr. ago REPLY ●●●
Anonymous 40740166 5.9973753 PNG 10.1 kB 4 REPLIES 3 IMAGES Anonymous 40740195 >last year >see all the manlet memes around, laugh at them >wonder how tall I am, measure to 182ish cm >punch it into google >pic related >fall into a deep depression thinking im 5'9 >for a f------ year i thought i was 5'9 >started defending manlets on here to the degree that would disgust a CTR shill >one day a girl implies i'm tall >go home and measure myself, 184cm >I'm well over 6' >go back to bullying manlets on /fit/ 1 hr. ago my life is a f------ series of stupid greentexts like this how do i stop being an idiot? ps. best exercise for putting mass on my lanklet arms? atm just doing bench/ohp and 3 curl variations. Learn unit conversion for a start. Also 182 cm to feet is 5.97 feet. >5'11.5 >well over 6 feet What did he mean by this? 1 hr. ago REPLY ●●●

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Anon adds the secret ingredient | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous AR A 04/02/23(Sun)18:09:00 No.896931372 B4B15993-5763-4BFA-87A8-35BEF1A9DF7C.jpg 10 KB JPG >Eating rice >feel a sneeze coming on >mouth is full of f------ food >expell said sneeze into my bowl of rice >rice particles shotgun spray out of my mouth into my personally home cooked meal >I continue eating >I can feel the slimy lukewarm mucus-caked rice in my mouth >puke at this sensation Just wasted 15 min cooking today anons, today's the day
: Anonymous AR A 04/02/23(Sun)18:09:00 No.896931372 B4B15993-5763-4BFA-87A8-35BEF1A9DF7C.jpg 10 KB JPG >Eating rice >feel a sneeze coming on >mouth is full of f------ food >expell said sneeze into my bowl of rice >rice particles shotgun spray out of my mouth into my personally home cooked meal >I continue eating >I can feel the slimy lukewarm mucus-caked rice in my mouth >puke at this sensation Just wasted 15 min cooking today anons, today's the day

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Ruby is finally based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/23(Sat) 14:05:20 No.136363715 4E876330-3390-48CB-8D67-8838E0EE8E0F.png 820 KB PNG >Congrats by the way, you f------ F------. We're SO happy for you. What did RT mean by this? >>136363735 # >>136363883 #
: Anonymous 04/01/23(Sat) 14:05:20 No.136363715 4E876330-3390-48CB-8D67-8838E0EE8E0F.png 820 KB PNG >Congrats by the way, you f------ F------. We're SO happy for you. What did RT mean by this? >>136363735 # >>136363883 #

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Anon lifts | /r/Greentext

>been lifting for years >hit 1/2/3/4 a few months ago >chiseled as f--- >Catch women staring all the time >this is after years of being ignored >new qt gym receptionist smiles at me as I go into the gym one day >she asks me about lifting >she's acting really flirty >tell her I'm not into trans women and I need to get to my workout >walk off and never see her there again >in the checkout line at a sports store >qt cashier starts handling my goods >she mirin my gains >ask her if she likes what she sees >she says yea, asks if I would take her to the gym sometime >tell her I'm not into trans women and I lift alone >she's visibly distraught and forgets to ask for payment >drinking at bar with some friends >only drinking water, alcohol is for trannies >qt comes up to me and asks if I lift >flex a 'cep and ask what she thinks >she asks if she can feel it >tell her yes but I don't want it going further than that because I don't f--- with trannies >she is visibly angry but still feels my 'cep >she walks off without saying anything It doesn't get better than this
>been lifting for years >hit 1/2/3/4 a few months ago >chiseled as f--- >Catch women staring all the time >this is after years of being ignored >new qt gym receptionist smiles at me as I go into the gym one day >she asks me about lifting >she's acting really flirty >tell her I'm not into trans women and I need to get to my workout >walk off and never see her there again >in the checkout line at a sports store >qt cashier starts handling my goods >she mirin my gains >ask her if she likes what she sees >she says yea, asks if I would take her to the gym sometime >tell her I'm not into trans women and I lift alone >she's visibly distraught and forgets to ask for payment >drinking at bar with some friends >only drinking water, alcohol is for trannies >qt comes up to me and asks if I lift >flex a 'cep and ask what she thinks >she asks if she can feel it >tell her yes but I don't want it going further than that because I don't f--- with trannies >she is visibly angry but still feels my 'cep >she walks off without saying anything It doesn't get better than this

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Anon makes a good activity. | /r/Greentext

Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Be me >Uni student depressed 96 KB JPG >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time
Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Be me >Uni student depressed 96 KB JPG >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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