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Anon messed up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4.11.2023, 23:03:28 No.78279542 > be 19 > constantly prank my 17 year old sister > decide to up my game > decide to smear my c-- on one of her dildos > confident that she will notice and get mad > she doesnt say anything > prank failed > few weeks goes by > overheard her downstairs in the kitchen with mom talk about how her period stopped and that she threw up last evening what the f--- guys i am a prankster not a criminal what DO I F------ DO!?
Anonymous 4.11.2023, 23:03:28 No.78279542 > be 19 > constantly prank my 17 year old sister > decide to up my game > decide to smear my c-- on one of her dildos > confident that she will notice and get mad > she doesnt say anything > prank failed > few weeks goes by > overheard her downstairs in the kitchen with mom talk about how her period stopped and that she threw up last evening what the f--- guys i am a prankster not a criminal what DO I F------ DO!?

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Anon becomes the crow overlord | /r/Greentext

File: tardjail.png (166 KB, 508x508) TARD JAIL ☐ Anonymous 11/04/23(Sat)21:53:40 No.75299223 >>75299283 >be me >bored during lockdown >decide to go to the local park because not much else to do >spot a flock of crows >idea.jpg >start feeding them every day >they grow accustomed to me and I eventually start teaching them tricks >l teach them to bring me any dollar bills they find >a week later >return to the usual spot >crows have brought a literal mountain of cash >imrich.wav >I give them a whole bag of cookies and take the money home >party all evening >ffw to next day dammit >deposit my huge pile of cash at the local bank >teller looks at me weird and leaves to talk to one of her colleagues >two police officers enter a few minutes later >get arrested >apparently the money was counterfeit >mfw the crows set up an illegal money printing ring to get more snacks out of me
File: tardjail.png (166 KB, 508x508) TARD JAIL ☐ Anonymous 11/04/23(Sat)21:53:40 No.75299223 >>75299283 >be me >bored during lockdown >decide to go to the local park because not much else to do >spot a flock of crows >idea.jpg >start feeding them every day >they grow accustomed to me and I eventually start teaching them tricks >l teach them to bring me any dollar bills they find >a week later >return to the usual spot >crows have brought a literal mountain of cash >imrich.wav >I give them a whole bag of cookies and take the money home >party all evening >ffw to next day dammit >deposit my huge pile of cash at the local bank >teller looks at me weird and leaves to talk to one of her colleagues >two police officers enter a few minutes later >get arrested >apparently the money was counterfeit >mfw the crows set up an illegal money printing ring to get more snacks out of me

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Anon is Brazilian | /r/Greentext

File: 2a0.jpg (146 KB, 1080x1185) □ Anonymous (ID: ZZirbyFm) 11/04/23 (Sat)21:15:40 No.447528237 [Reply] >>447532140 >>447532402 >your skin color >your political ideology brown nazism +33 replies and 14 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous (ID: Qlf4jhkz) >>447528483 the hero of a country 11/04/23(Sat)21:50:22 No.447531920 11/04/23(Sat)21:51:06 No.447532002 Anonymous (ID: MitB/bxF >>447531793 One drop of red is a good way to counteract Germanic autism
File: 2a0.jpg (146 KB, 1080x1185) □ Anonymous (ID: ZZirbyFm) 11/04/23 (Sat)21:15:40 No.447528237 [Reply] >>447532140 >>447532402 >your skin color >your political ideology brown nazism +33 replies and 14 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous (ID: Qlf4jhkz) >>447528483 the hero of a country 11/04/23(Sat)21:50:22 No.447531920 11/04/23(Sat)21:51:06 No.447532002 Anonymous (ID: MitB/bxF >>447531793 One drop of red is a good way to counteract Germanic autism

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Muh vagina | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 11/03/23 (Fri)12:28:35 No.191676631 >"So I was f------ CHAD right, and he just CAME in my P----. Like, dude I just finished my PERIOD, now I have to go get another ABORTION Why are all female comics like this?
: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 11/03/23 (Fri)12:28:35 No.191676631 >"So I was f------ CHAD right, and he just CAME in my P----. Like, dude I just finished my PERIOD, now I have to go get another ABORTION Why are all female comics like this?

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anon wants to fuck his friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/23(Sat)15:29:48 No.191723178 >be 13 >move to different state >cant really find my place >befriend classmate >she is pretty nerdy, doesnt have a lot of friends >get along really well >others like to say we are a couple but just shrug it off >fast forward 6 years >present day >still friends >this week, she says she wants to go to the beach >last time I was at the beach was like 5 years ago, I kinda avoid it because im pretty skinny and insecure >go to beach with her >see her in swimsuit for the first time >she actually has a rocking body >now I can only think about f------ her why did she have to ruin our friendship like this
Anonymous 11/04/23(Sat)15:29:48 No.191723178 >be 13 >move to different state >cant really find my place >befriend classmate >she is pretty nerdy, doesnt have a lot of friends >get along really well >others like to say we are a couple but just shrug it off >fast forward 6 years >present day >still friends >this week, she says she wants to go to the beach >last time I was at the beach was like 5 years ago, I kinda avoid it because im pretty skinny and insecure >go to beach with her >see her in swimsuit for the first time >she actually has a rocking body >now I can only think about f------ her why did she have to ruin our friendship like this

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/fit/zen has an realization | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 47 KB JPG Anonymous 1.83 MB GIF Anonymous Anonymous 315 KB JPG 11/04/23(Sat)08:04:12 No.72709193 type "fit" but move your fingers one key to the right when you type it >>72709193 (OP) # F--- 11/04/23(Sat)08:05:11 No.72709198 Anonymous >>72709193 (OP) # its over. 11/04/23(Sat)08:06:31 No.72709204 11/04/23(Sat)08:07:55 No.72709213 Anonymous >>72709193 (OP) # uh oh... this don't look good 11/04/23(Sat)08:11:34 No.72709227 11/04/23(Sat)08:11:58 No.72709232
Anonymous 47 KB JPG Anonymous 1.83 MB GIF Anonymous Anonymous 315 KB JPG 11/04/23(Sat)08:04:12 No.72709193 type "fit" but move your fingers one key to the right when you type it >>72709193 (OP) # F--- 11/04/23(Sat)08:05:11 No.72709198 Anonymous >>72709193 (OP) # its over. 11/04/23(Sat)08:06:31 No.72709204 11/04/23(Sat)08:07:55 No.72709213 Anonymous >>72709193 (OP) # uh oh... this don't look good 11/04/23(Sat)08:11:34 No.72709227 11/04/23(Sat)08:11:58 No.72709232

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Break from tradition | /r/Greentext

07/21/21 (Wed)12:42:03 No.64657226 >have a crush on a handsome successful chad >use incel advice to make myself attractive (dont swear or drink, dont wear too much makeup, act cute and pure, be trad and modest, make my hobbies baking and knitting and s--- like that, make it known im a virgin to him, stay at home and want to be a wife and mommy) : Anonymous 9 KB JPG >he ends up choosing a slutty, binge drinking, bimbo cakeface girl who runs her own business and is extremely unfeminine and loud and hates kids Stupid s----- incel advice only works for attracting betas.
07/21/21 (Wed)12:42:03 No.64657226 >have a crush on a handsome successful chad >use incel advice to make myself attractive (dont swear or drink, dont wear too much makeup, act cute and pure, be trad and modest, make my hobbies baking and knitting and s--- like that, make it known im a virgin to him, stay at home and want to be a wife and mommy) : Anonymous 9 KB JPG >he ends up choosing a slutty, binge drinking, bimbo cakeface girl who runs her own business and is extremely unfeminine and loud and hates kids Stupid s----- incel advice only works for attracting betas.

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Vietnam war, America did nothing wrong. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4-11-2023 12:42:18 No.30867583 15 KB JPEG >Be post colonial country that's gets split in two > be Northern communist > invade southern US ally > USA comes to save the south > USA loses tens of thousands of troops defending the south > Everyone treats US as invading force > be North Vietnam(pic unrelated)
Anonymous 4-11-2023 12:42:18 No.30867583 15 KB JPEG >Be post colonial country that's gets split in two > be Northern communist > invade southern US ally > USA comes to save the south > USA loses tens of thousands of troops defending the south > Everyone treats US as invading force > be North Vietnam(pic unrelated)

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Anon spends too much time on /pol/ | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 281 KB JPG 11/04/23(Sat)08:02:21 No.189527947 >Black female coworkers randomly throw me a surprise party for me >Ask why >They say it's because I'm always so nice and helpful and everyone in the office loves me >Remember all the racist/sexist things I say about their kind on this website daily >Feel guilty Does this happen to anyone else? Feels bad man.
:Anonymous 281 KB JPG 11/04/23(Sat)08:02:21 No.189527947 >Black female coworkers randomly throw me a surprise party for me >Ask why >They say it's because I'm always so nice and helpful and everyone in the office loves me >Remember all the racist/sexist things I say about their kind on this website daily >Feel guilty Does this happen to anyone else? Feels bad man.

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Anon Gets A Girl's Number | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/19(Tue)02:49:28 No.54002277 GUYS! HELP! I NEED HELP! F---! >see cute girl >feeling extra cheeky >decide to flirt with her because I'm a 23 year old virgin who's never even held hands with a girl and probably will hang myself soon anyways so I have nothing to lose 43 KB JPG >she starts flirting back >she asks me for my number >I give it to her >couple hours go by and too scared to text her and she hasn't said anything >couple minutes later SHE TEXTS ME >keeps flirting with me and sending lots of emojis >asks me if I want to go out to the movies or hang out WHAT THE FUCUKKKKKKK NOOOO WHAAAAAATTttt THIS IS THE FIRST TIME A GIRL HAS MADE AN EFFORT TO SPEND TIME WITH ME, AND THIS GIRL IS F------ CUTE WHAT THE F--- JS GOING ON?!?!?!? AM I BEING PRANKED?!?!??????? WHAT THE F--- IS GOING ONNNNN N N NDJSJSJJSSH I'm scared. I was just playing around now she probably thinks I'm some normie with social skills and stuff, I won't make it guys, if I go I'll get f------ destroyed, my social anxiety will give me a heart attack. FUUUCK WHY COULDNT I BE A F------ NORMAL PERSON!!!!! 25 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/20/19(Tue)02:49:28 No.54002277 GUYS! HELP! I NEED HELP! F---! >see cute girl >feeling extra cheeky >decide to flirt with her because I'm a 23 year old virgin who's never even held hands with a girl and probably will hang myself soon anyways so I have nothing to lose 43 KB JPG >she starts flirting back >she asks me for my number >I give it to her >couple hours go by and too scared to text her and she hasn't said anything >couple minutes later SHE TEXTS ME >keeps flirting with me and sending lots of emojis >asks me if I want to go out to the movies or hang out WHAT THE FUCUKKKKKKK NOOOO WHAAAAAATTttt THIS IS THE FIRST TIME A GIRL HAS MADE AN EFFORT TO SPEND TIME WITH ME, AND THIS GIRL IS F------ CUTE WHAT THE F--- JS GOING ON?!?!?!? AM I BEING PRANKED?!?!??????? WHAT THE F--- IS GOING ONNNNN N N NDJSJSJJSSH I'm scared. I was just playing around now she probably thinks I'm some normie with social skills and stuff, I won't make it guys, if I go I'll get f------ destroyed, my social anxiety will give me a heart attack. FUUUCK WHY COULDNT I BE A F------ NORMAL PERSON!!!!! 25 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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