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Curriculum nonvitae | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)18:34:19 No.61966906 >All the teachers at school called me weird >Wrote nasty reports about my "poor behavior" >Sent bitchy letters to my parents and my GP >Tried to get me suspended for 90 KB PNG minor bs >20 years later >l'm quoting directly from their letters in my disabilitybux application form as evidence to support my claim
: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)18:34:19 No.61966906 >All the teachers at school called me weird >Wrote nasty reports about my "poor behavior" >Sent bitchy letters to my parents and my GP >Tried to get me suspended for 90 KB PNG minor bs >20 years later >l'm quoting directly from their letters in my disabilitybux application form as evidence to support my claim

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Anon pays a bill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 714912237 >be me >6'2" white dude >phone bill is due >use Cricket >used a fake name for the account because they don't check ID >don't remember what it is >go to Cricket store >black dude working >give him my number >he looks up my name with my phone number >"Tyrone Watermelon" >ohfuck.jpg >he looks shocked >looks up at me >"your name is Tyrone Watermelon?" >straight face >"Yes." >"really?" >"Yeah." >pay my bill >all he can say is "...have a nice day" >leave >mfw
Anonymous 714912237 >be me >6'2" white dude >phone bill is due >use Cricket >used a fake name for the account because they don't check ID >don't remember what it is >go to Cricket store >black dude working >give him my number >he looks up my name with my phone number >"Tyrone Watermelon" >ohfuck.jpg >he looks shocked >looks up at me >"your name is Tyrone Watermelon?" >straight face >"Yes." >"really?" >"Yeah." >pay my bill >all he can say is "...have a nice day" >leave >mfw

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Anon is chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I'm a chad now 03/07/18(Wed)08:59:08 No.43685236 >In first aid training >Practicing reanimation on training dummy >Girl passes before me and does mouth to mouth on the dummy >Forgets to wipe with disinfectant towelette after 37 KB JPG >My turn >Proceed to do mouth to mouth with dummy >Mfw my lips indirectly touched a girls lips >Mfw i'm a chad now See you later virgins 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I'm a chad now 03/07/18(Wed)08:59:08 No.43685236 >In first aid training >Practicing reanimation on training dummy >Girl passes before me and does mouth to mouth on the dummy >Forgets to wipe with disinfectant towelette after 37 KB JPG >My turn >Proceed to do mouth to mouth with dummy >Mfw my lips indirectly touched a girls lips >Mfw i'm a chad now See you later virgins 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

brother 1 >31 >190 cm and full head of hair and chiseled face >married with 2 kids >150k euros a year brother 2 >25 >185 cm with full head of hair and chiseled face >gf and first kid on the way >worked in some store for 7 years and already about to become store manager and will earn 50k euros a year me >28 >170cm, balding and no jaw or chin >virgin >neetbux How the f--- is this possible? Does this mean my w---- mom cheated? How's that f------ possible when my dad is a chad and my dad must look like s---
brother 1 >31 >190 cm and full head of hair and chiseled face >married with 2 kids >150k euros a year brother 2 >25 >185 cm with full head of hair and chiseled face >gf and first kid on the way >worked in some store for 7 years and already about to become store manager and will earn 50k euros a year me >28 >170cm, balding and no jaw or chin >virgin >neetbux How the f--- is this possible? Does this mean my w---- mom cheated? How's that f------ possible when my dad is a chad and my dad must look like s---

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Anon ages. | /r/Greentext

: AnonymouS 11721720(Sat)23:42:36 No.134490016 Screen_Shot 2017 06 27_at_1.05.21 PM.0.jpg 202 KB JPG Im turning 50 next month
: AnonymouS 11721720(Sat)23:42:36 No.134490016 Screen_Shot 2017 06 27_at_1.05.21 PM.0.jpg 202 KB JPG Im turning 50 next month

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Anon gets psychologically scarred | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)16:01:52 No.845419741 >be me >bored >scroll through 4chan >see some post about how this guys day was ruined because he scrolled through r/g--- 75 KB JPG >wonder what it is >search it up on Reddit >it's basically gore p--- >a lot of the posts are really f----- up but this subtle one caught my eye and f------ scarred me >its this one drawing of this naked anime girl quadruple amputee with a defeated look on her face and red marks under her eyes from crying while she looks up at someone supposedly standing above her while sits on a bed >the caption read customized to your preferences >instantly connect the dots in my head >get immediately traumatized and almost pass out >in the comments people f------ loved it and talked about how hard they got from it >these people are disgusting and f----- up and deserve to die
: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)16:01:52 No.845419741 >be me >bored >scroll through 4chan >see some post about how this guys day was ruined because he scrolled through r/g--- 75 KB JPG >wonder what it is >search it up on Reddit >it's basically gore p--- >a lot of the posts are really f----- up but this subtle one caught my eye and f------ scarred me >its this one drawing of this naked anime girl quadruple amputee with a defeated look on her face and red marks under her eyes from crying while she looks up at someone supposedly standing above her while sits on a bed >the caption read customized to your preferences >instantly connect the dots in my head >get immediately traumatized and almost pass out >in the comments people f------ loved it and talked about how hard they got from it >these people are disgusting and f----- up and deserve to die

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Anon was president | /r/Greentext

File: trump.jpg (283 KB, 1240x775) Anonymous (ID: 4rC/TrpU 11/15/16(Tue)07:10:14 No.98627923 >>98628110 >>98628259 >january 21, 2017 >day after inauguration day >it's time for my first super classified presidential briefing >like about roswell and jfk and s--- >military guys come into the room >say that this conversation never happened >itshappening.gif >they give it to me straight >oswald shot JFK >f--- >9/11 was not an inside job >f--- >the roswell UFO was an experimental aircraft that crashed >f--- >the CIA invented crack to wipe out the n------ >top f------ kek >there's only one thing left they talk about >the lizard people >they're real >waitwaitniggaholdupareyouforrealrightnow.webm >they are for real >s--- >obama walks in >says he's one of them >but he and his people mean us no harm >yet >his eyes glow bright green and he flicks his tongue at me >disappears in a puff of smoke >now i have to give a press conference I didn't sign up for this s---.
File: trump.jpg (283 KB, 1240x775) Anonymous (ID: 4rC/TrpU 11/15/16(Tue)07:10:14 No.98627923 >>98628110 >>98628259 >january 21, 2017 >day after inauguration day >it's time for my first super classified presidential briefing >like about roswell and jfk and s--- >military guys come into the room >say that this conversation never happened >itshappening.gif >they give it to me straight >oswald shot JFK >f--- >9/11 was not an inside job >f--- >the roswell UFO was an experimental aircraft that crashed >f--- >the CIA invented crack to wipe out the n------ >top f------ kek >there's only one thing left they talk about >the lizard people >they're real >waitwaitniggaholdupareyouforrealrightnow.webm >they are for real >s--- >obama walks in >says he's one of them >but he and his people mean us no harm >yet >his eyes glow bright green and he flicks his tongue at me >disappears in a puff of smoke >now i have to give a press conference I didn't sign up for this s---.

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anon farts in class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)21:33:15 No.845434039 >in class >teacher is giving lecture >let out loud fart >interrupts teacher >all the other kids laugh >she cuts her eyes at me >she screams 'vagdooken!' And 34 KB JPG lets out a thunderous queef >echoes through out halls >hear teacher down the hall scream 'H-------- KIDS! I THINK WE'RE ABOUT TO F------ DIE! >never interrupt teacher orally or anally again
: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)21:33:15 No.845434039 >in class >teacher is giving lecture >let out loud fart >interrupts teacher >all the other kids laugh >she cuts her eyes at me >she screams 'vagdooken!' And 34 KB JPG lets out a thunderous queef >echoes through out halls >hear teacher down the hall scream 'H-------- KIDS! I THINK WE'RE ABOUT TO F------ DIE! >never interrupt teacher orally or anally again

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Anon dodges a bullet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)23:07:27 No.61971707 >be me >texting hot girl >she invites me over to cuddle and take a bubble bath >obviously sex is implied >say I'm on my way >lie. Take a bubble bath alone at home, 166 KB GIF then play vidya that thot thought she was going to take my semen. I don't think so
: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)23:07:27 No.61971707 >be me >texting hot girl >she invites me over to cuddle and take a bubble bath >obviously sex is implied >say I'm on my way >lie. Take a bubble bath alone at home, 166 KB GIF then play vidya that thot thought she was going to take my semen. I don't think so

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Anon gets rejected | /r/Greentext

> Be me > 15 y/o beta ginger f-- > Sophomore year > Starts talking to gril, easy 7.5 > Convince self everything is great between us 123 KB JPG > Over confidence sets in > Talk one day after class > Decide to ask out gril > heartpounding.jpeg > Gril says "Oh Anon, about that" > ohshit.png > "I like someone else, but it's not a boy" > confusion.exe boots up > "We'll talk later, Anon" > Waits two hours to get home > Gets text from gril > Text says "I lied I'm not a lesbian I just don't like you" > Cry's softly Fake lesbian rejects me, feels bad man
> Be me > 15 y/o beta ginger f-- > Sophomore year > Starts talking to gril, easy 7.5 > Convince self everything is great between us 123 KB JPG > Over confidence sets in > Talk one day after class > Decide to ask out gril > heartpounding.jpeg > Gril says "Oh Anon, about that" > ohshit.png > "I like someone else, but it's not a boy" > confusion.exe boots up > "We'll talk later, Anon" > Waits two hours to get home > Gets text from gril > Text says "I lied I'm not a lesbian I just don't like you" > Cry's softly Fake lesbian rejects me, feels bad man

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