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Copypasta - Image Gallery Page 3

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Richi Phelps

Richi Phelps イMensajes chi Phelps Que putas chingadas madres dijiste de mi, pinche escuinde baboso para que te sepas yo entrené en el gimnasio del señor Julio Cesar Chavez, tengo un record de 50 knockouts, fui al colegio militar de la cudad de México y un doctorado en ingenieria nuclear, isabes que significa eso? que puedo volar tu pinche cabeota hueca con una bomba que estoy preparando especialmente para t, y no solo eso también soy experto en el manejo de armas largas y tengo acceso a todo un arsernal de Uzis, Ak 47 y R-15s, si t no hubieras abierto el pinche hocico de perro que benes, no tendrias que rezar por tu vida. En estos momentos estoy rastreando tu drección IP para ubicar tu domicilio, te vas a cagar cuando veas un chingo de camionetas esperando en la entrada de tu casa para acribillarte, mis hombres estan bien armados y son muy temerarios, saben hacer muy bien su trabajo y están dispuestos a exterminar hasta la ultima puta ceula más pequeña e insignificante de tu puta miserable existencia, escucha bien mis palabras nene, que ya no hay vuelta atrás, vete despidiendo de tu miserable vida cabrón, voy a convertir tus ultimas horas de vida en un autentico infierno estás bien pinche muer to nene, estás bien pinche muerto. an solo hubieras pensado un poquito más y

Image #416,279

WhAT N ThE NAME OF GOD DIDST Tbov CIAIM OF ME TbOV MISER ABLE WRETCh? I Il MVST.INFORM ThEE ThAT I A M A KNIGbT OF VNSVRPASSED VAIOR. AND I AVE MANY A TIME PARTICIPATED IN RALDS AGAINST THE VIKING REBELS AND BAVE ASSVREDIY AVE TRAINED IN TbE ART OF SIMIA N WARFARE AND NONE CAN CbALLENGE My SKIILS OF ARChERY.TboV ART NOVGT IN My EYES BVT ANOThER TARGET I SbALL EXTERMINATE THAT bAs NEVER BEFORE BEEN SCEN VPON ThIS MORTAI PIANC bEAR ME NOW DIDST Thov TR Vy BELIEVE THOV COVIDST SIANDER ME SO VPON ThE TAPESTRY2 RECONSIDER yOVR POSITION FOOL. AS 1 WRITE Tbls. I AM IM THE . PROCESS OF CONTACTING MY NETWORK OF ASSASSINS ACROSS TbE IAND OF ENGLAND. AND ThEY ARE TRACKING,yOVR MOVEMENTS AT ThLS INSTANT. SO TbOv WOVLD BE VVISE TO PREPARE ThyseLF FOR The cOMING

Image #405,665

□ Anonymous 09/23/12(Sun)07:22 No.1 55950429。 >155950332 l iladkesil .pou! hea lnnnidine쉐1 □ Anonymous 09/23/12(Sun)07:23 No.1 55950498。 155950429 Real funny f----- ass bitch. You think this is a joke? You think giving me lip is a good idea? I'll f------ murder you. Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me l want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems... didn't think so f------. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you m------------. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100S serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least Ive had sex, had girlfiends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic S---

Image #380,302

File: 1345498212005 ipg-(29 KB, 500x365, quinton.jpg) □ Anonymous 08/20/12(Mon)17:30 No.4027144 You know what you're looking at? Yeah, that's right: a little piglet with an IQ of 144 on the WAIS-4 scale. I've qualified on the MENSA test multiple times. I was doing calculus when I was 12, and reading as a collegiate level when I was eight. I'm working on an extrapolation of Einstein's Theory of Relativity which would put me in line for a Nobel Prize. You've all allowed your minds to slip into idiocy by spending time on this message board, and I can see it every time I read a post here: the mark of a mind wasted. You were probably all gifted at one point, but you spend your entire days looking at dumb pictures of horse cartoons. You don't even have the swine to embrace your own culture. Anonymous 08/20/12(Mon)17:31 No.4027171 File 1345498282927 ina-(215 KB 496x1640 manliest hacon ever inal

/mlp/ Hacksaw Copypasta

Anonymous 07/28/12(Thu)11:27 No.3480955 File: 1343318448348.ipg-(10 KB, 250x250, holy goddamn cheeseballs die jpg) hack that bitch seriously wish i had your people's address i would make a murder vid and release it for the masses and prove that no matter how much "loveandtolerancebullshit you have it all ends the same with you on your knees screaming while im gutting you with a hacksavw

Image #359,536

3463987 YOU THINK YOU CAN WALTZ「 HERE AND JUST TALK S---? YOU THINK YOU CAN SPOUT F-- WORDS WITHOUT ANY REPRECUSSIONS?! WELL GOT NEWS FOR YOU, CAPTAIN F----- jm TURNING YOUR CANDY ASS INTO A F------ EXAMPLE I am gonna find you. I will use every skill I have as a coder to track your f----- ass down, and I will show up at your doorstop when you least expect it, AND THEN I WILL HIT YOU WITH THE M------------ PAIN TRAIN. I WILL SHOW UP WITH A F------ BARREL FULL OF FIRE ANTS AND A VACUUM, STUFF THE ANTS INSIDE THE BAG, SHOVE THE NOZZLE UP YOUR ASS, TURN THAT S--- ON BLOW, AND THEN PUMP YOUR RECTUM FULL OF AN ENTIRE COLONY OF FIRE ANTS ONCE THEYVE TORN YOUR ASS TO SHREDS AND YOU'VE FINALLY MANAGED TO S--- OUT A GIANT BALL OF SUFFOCATED ANTS, I WILL INJECT MYSELF WITH A SERUM THAT CAUSES ME TO GROW SEVEN MORE D----, AND THEN USE ALL OF THEM SIMULTANEOUSLY TO F--- YOU APART. I WILL LITERALLY POUND YOUR A------ WITH SUCH AN UNHOLY FORCE YOUR BODY POPS LIKE AN OVERMICROWAVED HOTDOG. I WILL F--- YOU SO HARD EVEN YOUR F------ GHOST WILL HAVE TO SIT ON AN ICE PACK FOR MONTHS I'Il record it and post it on youtube to serve as a warning for any other COLLOSSAL FAGLORD who would even entertain the f------ THOUGHT of talking s--- about my waifu queen. So keep talking s---. You'll only be a f------ warning, f--.

Image #356,593

WHAT THE FUICK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME ILL HANE YOU KNOW I GRAD AED TOP OF MY CLASS IN THE CONFIRN KILL MARK MY F------ WOND THE PATHETIC LITTLE THN AND I HAVE OVE AM TRAINED IN GORILLA WARFAREI ARMED U.S M THE TOP SNIPER IN THE ENTIREO FU I WILL WIPE TEFUCK OUN WITH THE PRECISION THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS HEVER BEEN SEN BEFORE ON THIS EARTH YOU THINK YOU CAN GE AWAY WITH SAYING THAT S--- OVER THE IN THINK AGAIN,ICKER THE STORM THAT WIPES BU AGGUI. YOU CALL YOUR LIFE." 竈 1 ee" 9E儒 ANam" KILL YOU IN OVER SEVEN HUNDRED WAYS, AND THAT'S JUST WITH BARE HANDS IWILL哎iTT0ITS FULL EXTENT TOWPE MSERABLE ASS OFF THE FACE OF THE C NOT ONLY AMTEXTEMSIVELY TRAINED IN UNARMED COMBAT BUT IHAVE HHE ENTIRE ARSENAL OF THE UNITED STAFES MARINE CORPS IP ONLY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN WHATOAUTYOUCOU YOU LITTLE S--- AS ABOUT TO BRING DOWN UPON YO TONSUE YOU GBODAN AWILLSIT FURY ALL OVER YOU AND YOU WILL DROWN IN IT : OU'REFUCKING DEAD, KIDD&

Image #336,889

>> □ 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:17 No.13457437 All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order for my fiancee. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way backto the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Gol" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurmed to the mall bathrooms I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 0 through 4 (I write a lot of software) for your convenience: >> □ 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:28 No.13457445 0 Occupied 1. Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one 2 Poo on seat 3 Poo and todlet paper in bowl, unidentifiable hquid splattered on seat 4 No toilet paper, no stall door, uradentifiable sticky object near base of tolet Clearly, it had to be Stall #1 I trudged back, entered, dropped trou and sat down. I'm normally a farly Shameful S------. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut The inane conversation went on and on Mr. Sh Itter was blathering to Mrs. S------ about the shltty day he had I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angier and angrier, thinking that I too, had a crappy day, but I was too polte to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier >> □ 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:39 No.13457447 Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefiness. I no longer cared I gipped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stal, and pushed with all my might I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude a cross between the sound of someone npping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wal The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently Once my ass cheeks stopped lapping in the breeze, three things became apparent)1) The neact door conversation had ceased, (2) my colon's continued seiring indicated that there was more to come, and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a homible, eldritch stench It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened The foul miasma quckly made its way underthe stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial herald' fart had ended his conversation in nmad-sentence >> □ 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:53 No.13457455 Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag). you could hear that (gag)?? Now there was no stoppng me I pushed for all I was worth I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of ips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted saghtly off the pot The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ncochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the loor But for now all I could do was hang on for the ride Net door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my a--- symphony "Gotta go. homble throw up my mouth not make it. tell the kids love them oh God. " followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my hagh-pressure abuse of the todet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet There was a lull in my production, and the restroom becane deathly quet I could envision ham standing there, wondering what to do. A final a--- announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard a fush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him >> □ 09/27/06(Wed)06:54:07 No. 1 3457460 After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth As Ileft, I glanced into the nest-door stall Nothing remained in the bowl Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know I exited the bathroom, momentanly proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supematural elimination has managed to transfer my Shamefuness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'l be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo And this, my frends, is why you should never talk on your phone in thebathroom.

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Image #259,751

File :1202463334.ipg-(4 KB, 146x109, depewdj5.jpg) 02/08/08(Fn)04:35:34 No.53299049 Story time b/( My hot advisor found out I like her. Pic related. Okay so at my school we have faculty advisers that are assigned to students according to their last names. The faculty advisers help students with scheduling conflicts, general questions, help with internships/employment, etc. My adviser is named Jess Depew and as you can see she's pretty hot. The picture doesn't really do her justice but they're all I've got at the moment. She's like 25 and she's only been at the school a few years. Anyway, I have been looking into getting an internship at a TV station or something over the summer, and the school helps coordinate these things with an internship database that's maintained by the advisers. You log on with your school ID and password and you can browse internships and stuff. I was having trouble logging on to mine so I went to go see Ms. Depew. That's where all the trouble started. Firstly, I walked into office like 15 minutes early like an idiot and she's in the middle of hnch. So I awkwardly make stupid stall talk until she's finished. Oh, hey, what are you eating?" Salmon. I love it. I eat it practically everyday." Just salmon? That's pretty weird." Why the hell did I say this? Oh, well, I don't know. I try to eat healthy, natural foods...you know, like wild berries and honey and stuff." Yeah, I like food too." facepalm* Man, I was so nervous. Anyway, we finally begin squaring my stuff away. She looks up what I registered with in the beginning of the year. This is when the crap really hit the fan. This is how the conversation went Okay, you're account name is [my name] and your password is ...'depewissexy.. >> □ 02/08/08(Fn)04:36:12 No.53299084 Oh damn. I completely forgot that I put that as my password in the beginning of the year. What the hell was I thinking? It was probably the longest 20 seconds of my life before I finally got my balls together to stand up and leave. Just as I walk out the door she says, "In the future, you might want to bear in mind what kind of things you want keep to yoursehf. I was so freaking embarrassed I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I wanted to run the hell out of there and never, ever see her again. But something about what she just said kept me standing in her doorway. I decided to man up and apologize. I turned to her, looked her straight in the eyes, and swallowed my pride. And then, it hit me like a train full of bricks. She was eating Salmon. She tries to eat all healthy, natural foods, like wild berries and honey She told me that I might want to bear in mind what kind of things I want to keep to myself. Ms. Depew was a bear disguised as a human. >> □ 02/08/08(Fri)04:37:30 No.53299155 Immediately, the bear saw that I had seen through its charade. It roared loudly and took a menacing swipe at me. I deftly avoided its claw and sprinted out of the office. The bear was soon in chase, crashing through the walls of the ofice as if they were made of paper. I jumped over the receptionist desk and ran out the back entrance. The bear followed, tossing the secretary aside like a rag doll The bear began to pursue me through the street traffic. While I fought my way through the maze of vehicles, the bear simply careened its massive force through anything standing in its way. Cars veered off the road to escape the onslaught of grizzly force that was barreling down the road. The bear was gaining fast. I had no other option but to make my way into the nearest building a preschool. I burst through the door, startling the children from their naps. Immediately, the bear slammed through the wall, crushing a child beneath his massive paws and burying several other children in sheet rock and debris. I maneuvered my way through the chaos towards the back exit. The pre-schoolers were little more than a screaming annoyance for the bear. Its massive paws cut swaths through the sea of toddlers with each swipe. I used the precious time these children had afforded for me to make my escape into the playground. I scrambled up a ladder to a fort-like structure. My goal was to walk across the monkey bars then jump to a tree which I could climb to the roof of the preschool and perhaps flag down a passing helicopter >> 02/08/08(Fn)04:38:08 No. 532991 87 F-----' Lol 02/08/08(Fr)04:38:19 No.53299197 i f------ lol'd >02/08/08 Fr)04:38:32 No.53299212 Caught me completely off guard 02/0808Fri)04:39:40 No.53299267 File 1202463580.gif-(54 KB, 361x365, 1199743000374.gif) did you make her bear cry? >> [] 02/08/08(Fn)04:40:55 No.53299331 53299049 I lol'd so hard >> 02/08/08(Fn)04:41:48 No.53299380 F----- epic win

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