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facts-+just-made-up answered you: thepolygonalfish asked: Yknow the more you talk about your book the less I'm convinced that it's real. Which is strange because I have physical copies of both of them. them!!!)

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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Tips for a goodnight's sleep

Tips for a goodnight's sleep colourofoctober: Directory Allow search engines tc Not safe for work (NSFI This tumblelog contains explici nappropriate in a typical work Delete account ©Tumblr, Inc. Help About Apps Developers Themes Meetups Job

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I, for one, welcome the new president with open arms.

ngumbiraefedoe etatu tigow are we going to be able to defeat TH we won't say hello to the new president ofthe united states Reblopged 1 day ago from flosting-hend (originally from commmemeism) 4,362 notes Source: commmemeism

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i cri evrytim

male brony fedora dudebro friendzoner: but fluttershy and make me sandwich and you be manic pixie dream girl me: literally no because feminism male brony fedora dudebro friendzoner dorito crumbs on my hands frigid bitch you suck my d--- nice guy slut me: dudebro women not be machines you put kindness into and vaginas fall out no male brony fedora dudebro friendzoner: but my cummies me: you are not entitled to the cummies because r--- culture is bad and real dudebro friendzoner me because am feminist badass tumblr goddess: no because lesbian no manic pixie dream girl for you brony friendzoni everybody: applauds

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how much for vaginal

brie3po: janebuzjane: thoughtkiller clavid: eloquentvibes: clavid on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine On the downside l'm too poor to afford one. one crack cocaine hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please debit or credit I actually have a gift card Source: clavid

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They have no idea what's coming

zanmadynenippoisalien+ england middle schoolers complaining about how stressful school is Honeyiyou've gota big storm comin 决 Source: streetcash 749,347 notes

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North Dakota pet fox euthanized after false bite report from anonymous hater

From reddit user /u/Aeviegh: Several days ago, a fellow fox owner and dear friend received an anonymous message through Tumbir threatening to report Vader as a vicious animal. Unfortunately, these threats are something nearly every exotic pet owner has experienced. Thinking it was just another internet crazy, she deleted the message. Like many foxes, Vader had never left his home property for anything other than a vet trip. One would assume in order to file a report, you would need some proof. Apparently that isn't the case in North Dakota Last night, animal control officers and local police showed up at her door and, without a warrant, seized Vader. The reason given was that they had received an "anonymous bite report". The person who physically took Vader was not a trained animal control officer, but rather a local cop. Wearing thick gloves, he cornered Vader and picked him up by the scruff of the neck. The cop had previously been advised multiple times on how to properly handle Vader (or any animal, for that matter) but decided to disregard the advice not only of his owner, but animal control officers as well. Out of fear, Vader bit his glove but did not puncture the material. Staff at Animal Control reported he was wagging his tail whenever he was fed and being friendly with everyone who interacted with him. Vader's owner made several calls to the North Dakota Board of Animal Health, Department of Health and local police department. All three assured her because they had no proof of punctured flesh in either incident, and that the cop had horrifically botched the seizure, Vader would be safe and they were just holding him to make sure he wasn't exhibiting signs of any contagious diseases. A few hours ago, the police showed up with Vader's collar. Animal Control had euthanized him without a hearing or proper medical screening, stating that they had evidence that the person from the Tumblr report had legitimately been bitten. The "evidence" the animal rights activist from Tumblr submitted was a photo of an animal bite either doctored or taken straight from Google. Tumblr..really? I know there are a lot (a LOT) of f-------- on this site but this is a new low. This is absolutely masochistic and is complete abuse of the anonymity system this site so graciously provides. I don't care who did it, I want to know why. I mean, congratulations! You won! The fox got euthanized! GG, bro(ette)! In my eyes, this has become honestly the ultimate scumhole of the internet (even /b/ is starting to fall behind). Anon hate, keyboard warriors, bigoted arguments, people who can't admit they've done wrong, absolute NUTJOBS who somehow have the audacity to say they're "for equality" and now this. Honestly? Really? I'm f------ done with this site. No, really. I'm done with it. This is absolutely wrong Oh, before I forget, here's a picture of Vader.

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Too bad, I'm not american

Hey kid, what's your name? can't remember Where you from? canet remember Can't you remember anything? Iremember the ATam0 donrickles The best joke there ever was.

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Yes

sviveonss altarii ia Dear people learning German animentality freezingdesert please be aware that the correct way to replace ä, Ö, ü, B is turning them into ae, oe, ue, and ss, not just taking the dots away or typing "B" Otherwise you can get things like "Das Wetter ist sehr schwül heute." -The weather is very hot and humid today." "Das Wetter ist sehr schwul heute." The weather is very gay today well I now know how to call the weather gay Quelle: freezingdesert

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B̨҉̡̧̀o̧͟ẃ̀͞ ͟҉b̶̴̀͡e̷̶̡͟͢f̷̸̀͞o̢͟͝r͏̕̕e̴̢͘͘͝ ̀͘m̕͢e̸̢͡,̸̨̡̢̕ ̢m̸̢̨o̵͟͜͠r̶̸͟͠t͢a͡l̴̕͟͞͞͝!̀͝ ̞

immortalgivenchy asked I always wonder to if white people are demons on earth bronzebun answered i think so honestly freedom14movement How hard were you hit in the head as a baby

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My wallet's made out of duct tape

zanmadyne secretmusician23+ senkanmutsu: gunsmcnasty I want to hold boobs the size of my wallet Nothing Source: gunsmcnasty 2,756 notes

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I never really talked to that many people outside high school

iahfy-internalized-misogyny study-hard-now lonelystiles: do you ever feel like your friendship with someone has an expiration date senior graduation Source: lonelystiles 302,401 notes

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How civil wars are started

taddle kvothe-kingkiller: deankeptthetrenchcoatintheimpala allonsy-sherlock popetwitter kaalashnikov squeakykins yzma putting milk in the bowl first is divorce worthy for wetting your toothbrush BEFORE putting tooth paste on wow excuse you maybe I like to soften the bristles first B who the f--- doesn't wet their tooth brush before putting toothpaste on what the f--- who the f--- does i the f--- do what the f--- man f--- you This is how civil wars are started

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+26

Tumblr - It's uncanny I tells ya

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facts-+just-made-up answered you: thepolygonalfish asked: Yknow the more you talk about your book the less I'm convinced that it's real. Which is strange because I have physical copies of both of them. them!!!)

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