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JOBS BE LIKE hersheywrites Requirements: .You Must Have Your Own Transportation (BMW Or Mercedes Preferred) .You Must Live In A House (No Apartment Complexes) You Must Own An iPhone .Bachelors Degree Required, MASTERS Preferred 10+ Years Experience .You Must Be An A Blood Type Disease and Drug Free .No CRIMINAL Record Whatsoever (No Exceptions) .No Braces, No Freckles and No Tattoos/Piercings .Must Be Pretty With An Athletic/Slim Body Must Be On Time At ALL Times .If You Die, Please Let Your Ghost Cover Your Shift, NO EXCEPTIONS! .If You Speak Your Mind, You Need NOT Apply .BonuS If You Can Calculate Numbers In Your Head, Operate A Forklift and Speak Spanish, Chinese, French And Swahili PAY: $6.50/HR NO EXCEPTIONS!!! Source: hersheywrites #ugh 63,569 notes

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit
lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes
theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son
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Uploaded Jun 17, 2015 at 02:12AM EDT

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