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Tumblr - It never happened

ifyoulaugh adorability: acidpunch what if u woke up tomorrow and it was the first day of seventh grade and everythings that happened since then was just a dream Source: yz50 604,125 notes

lakemojave M Follow Hi honey how was your day at the gaslighting factory? the-vaudevillain-deactivated202 ive never worked there. stop saying i work there thebonewitch Follow Honey, remember what your union rep said about working off the clock

cannibalchicken Follow Mar 30 Elly Bangs @elly_bangs Deeply haunted by a study that found human beings are *less than 50% accurate* in determining whether they are being flirted with. 2:27 PM 2023-02-04 664K Views 21K Likes 682 Retweets 333 Quotes rudecanadiantwo Follow 11 hr. ago Look. I'm sorry I'm 0% accurate and dragging the average down. uncle-mojave Follow 6 hr. ago Had a girl look me innthe eyes and tell me she wanted to go to bed while holding my hand so I told her that she better go then before she fell asleep. 1,060 notes D

ultraviolence Follow Apr 15 fake idgafer, i saw you yearning

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i must go

twerkasaurus-wrecks: pokeurball seductivegutternixon: too pure for this cruel world I'm laughing so hard at the apple, line it's just flying away i must go

Where'd that come from!?

aquato getting a note on a super old post

Egg-squisite discussion

fattyatomicmutant: i used to think tumblr ruined my sense of humor but actually it improved since i no longer laugh at racist and sexist s--- and instead laugh at 'egg Eggs are always hilarious. There a lot of egg jokes. As an egg I find this deeply offensive Jeeze skulljuice stop being so Eggscrutiatingly sensitive You're lucky I'm so hardboiled or you'd be frying for that, hear me? fattyatomicmutant Source: vladtarasenko 432,350 notes

Dress code

men should take advantage of the lack of dress code rules set for guys and wear mini skirts and tank tops to school every day OH MY GOD LAST YEAR THE DUDES ON MY CLASS HAVE DONE IT AND THEY GOT ALL CALLED IN THE PRINCIPAL'S ROOM BUT THEY DIDNT GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THEY SAID EXACTLY IT BUT THOSE RULES ARE ONLY FOR GIRLS M NOT EVEN JOKING heroes

The bee noise

thebaconsandwichofregret: kimbbearly why dont humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here lets leave immediately" why are elephants more advanced than us we do have a specific noise, it sounds like this: (1 "there are bees here lets leave immediately" Source: kimbbearlyold 266,463 notes

Fun fact

le-red-lucy: my-raggedy-pond: cuntinued: Fun Fact: The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their lifetime. I like how this is called a 'fun' fact. It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you

Stupid kids

is-getting-old eva-420 i feel bad for teachers because i distinctly remember my mom bursting into tears once when she was grading papers and she was just mumbling "theyre so goddamn stupid" over and over every time i read this i laugh a little harder 50,706 notes

Not racist

burritwo: adrians: a-creepy-weirdo-has: adrians I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon I'm not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn't have gotten stitches. how is that racist they just said they weren't being racist do you even listen 255,522 notes

Haunting

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey daneasaur225: moniquill: Abandoned 123 year old school For sale: totally not haunted, we promise. Like we pinky swear. No wailing child ghosts. No endless walls of text about the coming of the end times appearing on chalk boards when you turn your back. No creepy singing. Totally cool

Shine bright like a 'gina

NSFW

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Beep Boop

maidenmothercronus: inconvenientlylargelizard: HOW TO CHEER UP IN 2 EASY STEPS 1. WHISPER "BEEP BOOP" TO YOURSELF. 2. REPEAT UNTIL NOT SAD. (BUT WHY DOES THIS WORK??????))

Proposal

dathomo: aw there's a girl proposing to a guy in the bathroom! how sweet I'm sure she is getting all choked up It's such big news it must be hard to swallow!

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