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sophie @Scphietab な 塩Follow My mum was too embarrassed to tell the vet our tortoise was called voldetort so she just said his name was Susan RETWEETS FAVORITES 4 014 22 14 letmebestardust: thecurlyginger mysharona1987 Oh my God. VOLDETORT. Hold on, best story ever: My friend's wife is the front desk person at a vet clinic, and this woman calls in asking if she can bring her lizard in. His wife agrees and asks what the lizard's name is for the appointment. The woman says, "His name is Harry. His wife wasn't sure if she heard correctly. "Harry?" "Yeah, Harry. As in "You're a lizard, Harry .”

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I'm a what?


Uploaded by Reggie Amiibo Mar 21, 2015 at 06:23PM EDT

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit
lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes
theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son
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Uploaded Mar 21, 2015 at 06:23PM EDT

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lizard, harry, voldetort, harry potter, vet, pet

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