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tachidere n you suddenly remember you had homework and it's d ㄅ recognition realization fear

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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How bad can I be?

carbinks when you draw something really good how bad me be when you flip it how sad me be

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Cracked Eggs

sheriffsunshine danielkanhai i like when you're in the grocery store and you see people buying eggs because they always pick up the carton and then open it like it's a metal briefcase full of cash involved in drug deal and they're confirming it's money. "don't bother counting it, it's all there. T2. then they always pick one up and inspect it like, "yeah, it's grade A alright...the real deal." People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked you walnut Source: danielkanhai

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Why are titles required now? AND WHY AM I IN A FUCKING BOX?!

saintsentry Me as a parent Son: Daddy, I can't sleep. Me: Don't worry son, I'1l sing you a lullaby Me: Hush little baby, don't say a word Me: And never mind that noise you heard Me: It's just the beasts under your bed. Me: In your closet, and IN YOUR HEEEAAAAD! Me: EEEEEEXIIIIIT LIGHT! EEEEEENNTEEEEEERRRR NIIIIGHT!. .

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Such scandal!

scienceofficermulder luftangrepp: Since klingon sex is basically violent wrestling, I wonder if the klingons don't have BDSM but like the opposite. Klingons gathering in secrecy in dark cellars to engage in sweet, gentle loving, to the scorn of fellow klingons. "How can you do that?" the other klingons ask. "You don't even draw blood? Not a single furniture breaking? It doesn't seem... natural", "What is this... cuddle, you speak of?" im into klingon hug dungeons

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"I'va never seen one of these beasts bitch slapped so hard yet still have the energy to get up to be bitch slapped again"

WHY DOES FINLAND HAVE THE LOWEST CHILD POVERTYIN THE WORLD? BASIC INCOME 1 YEAR PAD PARENTAL LEAVE FRIE CHILD CAREFOR YOUTH PARLIAMENT GUARANTEED JOB FOR WITH 9 TO 18 YEAR OLD EVERYONE UNDER 25 REPRESENTATIVES

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A little late for Valentine's Day, but it can still work

iahfy-blixle Source: dangerscissor dangerscissor cute date ideas Couple falls asleep in a dumpster, wakes up in a garbage truck 9,502 notes

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Predicting the future to killing everyone in a matter of minutes.

kameko13-sakura401 Source:gayturians gayturians yraffect: gayturians once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher's work day so i wouldn't have to go to school and mom's not an idiot so of course it didn't work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher's work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone go big or go home 586,340 notes

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Space & Time

ahfy jubliants+ Source: just-shower-th slam-dunkity just-shower-thoughts Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time. THIS IS THE REALEST F------ S--- 218,401 notes

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Dancing Queen

wrrench: YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY SEVENTEEN dancing queen feel dancing queen feel the meat on the tangerine OH YEAH

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City Escape Awkward Moment

tailscore when u gotta escape from the city but u remember that u left the stove on PLANET

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Someone's gonna post the "Alternate names for objects" picture on here aren't they

andbrittlebones My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate merry go round' cause she didn't know the Japanese word for it by calling it a horse tornado for children' and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ohhhhh, in Japan we call those 'merry-go-rounds 16,956 notes け

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Language is fun

bisexualzuko darecroW exemplarybehaviour: yesterday i went to buy something and the store owner looked up and said something to me in chinese and i was so surprised i just said what in english and then we stared at each for a full ten seconds like what the f--- we are in spain soranotsky heylookitsabbey Source:feirunes feirunes my english teacher says "eh a lot and every time im like "haha i bet he's from canada". but then i remember. i'm canadian. i live in canada 249,737 notes ensenawklesrubyswebsite Source: waeh-edsheeran waeh-edsheeran: I watch so much American TV nowadays that today when I went downstairs and saw my dad drinking tea I thought to myself "What is he, British? and then I realised. My dad is British.Iam British. We live in Britain. 4,877 notes WHAT THE F--- IS GOING ON one time my sister asked me a question in english, I responded in Hebrew and she responded in Spanish.

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