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juststandingthere-men..goddessofthedawn Source: media-cache-ec The creative writing class abmy school is writing children's books. This is a list the teacher made of books not to write. 1. You are Different and That's Bad 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables 3. Dad's New Wife Greg 4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share 5 Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It Book 6. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her 8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence 9 All Cats Go to Hell 10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched 11. Some Kittens Can Fly 12. That's It. I'm Putting You Up for Adoption 13, Grandpa Gets a Cosket 14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator 15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia 16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy 17. Strangers Have the Best Candy Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way 19. You were an Accident 20. Things Rich Kids Have, But you Never Will 21 Popl Goes the Hamster. And Other Great Microwave Games 22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan 23. Your Nightmares Are Real 24. Where Would You Like to be Buried? 25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School 26. Why 27 Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things 28 Daddy Drinks Because You Cry 29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool 30. Making Grown-Up Friends On the Internet 31. 101 Fun Games To Play in the Road 32. You Can't Help It If You're Stupid 33 Patty Went Splat! (Don't YOU Forget Your Seatbelt) 34. Bullies Deserve To Die 35. Go to your Room. Mommy's Got A New Baby To Love 36. Timmy's The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend 37. I Dare Youl 101 Challenges To Prove You're Not A Sissy 38 Trixie Goes to the Big City Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outiet Be Friends? san spydercyde ssionthenarglesmade But why the last one though what am I not getting I can't breath. I have not laughed this hard in years Okay, quick story about the last one-I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays) After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the Big City where she tries to make her dream come true Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night And that's why we can't write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City 50,541 notes

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tumblr books not to make for children or hell i dunno maybe make them anyway kids could use a laugh too i found this image googling the word "dinglerumpus"

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homunculus-argument My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

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