America, F--- Yeah! | 'Murica | Know Your Meme

>proud american >only vote republican >650lbs because of genetics no job >live off government disability benefits because of obesity >be 11am >stomach rumbling, haven't eaten in 20 minutes >should go to mcdonalds, just started serving lunch stry to get into minivan with assistance of wheelchair lift >lift collapses due to excess weight >fall out of wheelchair onto driveway call 911 >"sir we no longer have ambulances because of obamacare. we can't help you >damn you obama >stuck in driveway, cant get into wheelchair >seconds turn into minutes, i'm getting hungrier and hungrier can feel my stomach starting to digest itself >going mad with hunger pull out my gun, and start firing in the air to get attention >someone hears and calls cops they arrive to my house 30 minutes later, put me back into wheelchair >cops mad as s--- "sir you are not allowed to discharge a firearm in a residential area" remind them that this is america and i have the freedom to fire a gun wherever and whenever i please they place me under arrest because they dont know anything about my freedoms >handcuffs wont fit on my wrists >can't fit into police car they have to call special bariatric handling police unit they place on me on modified flatbed truck and bring me to police station >put into special jail cell that can accomodate someone with my needs stold i will be booked shortly >no food being brought >at this point im absolutely starved, my vision is becoming blurry and my extremities are going numb scream "THIS IS AMERICA AND I DEMAND TO BE BROUGHT MCDONALDS RIGHT NOW" >one guard knows how america works and asks me what i want from mcdonalds >i order 6 big macs with no pickles, 3 supersize fries, 4 apple pies and at least 2 gallons of diet coke >guard comes back 30 minutes later >too hungry to even scream at him for taking so long >grab bags and rifle through them frantically looking for big macs found one >open it >it has pickles on it

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"America is a corpse being consumed by maggots. Liberals are rooting for the maggots. Conservatives are rooting for the corpse."

On today's episode of How American Are You: I Deep Fried A Loaded Gun 184K views 4 days ago レ >

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