Beware of Humans | Tumblr | Know Your Meme

It's funny how science fiction universes so ofnen treat humans as a boring. default everyman species or even the weakest and I want to see a actually considered one of the more hideous we re How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn't be uitra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actualy have the strongest vocall chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? what if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare "animal races who can move so quickly and chew s--- up with our Like that old story "they're made of meat, only we re scarier H-------- THEY EAT CAPSAICN FOR FUN YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE ATA RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J CHAN HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY DO NOT OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOO More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial lite Our endurance shock resistance and ablity to recover from injury any other animal offen use the phrase healthy as a horse to connote heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There's mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by folowing it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until died of Basically, we're the Terminator (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even it's only sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you- and by any other species standards, we just plain don't get tired where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that's fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isnt necessanly a career-ending injury for a human we heal from injuries with extreme rapidity recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results arent scar among our other survival-oriented traits but Speaking of scaning look at our medical science have been known to pertorm surgery on themselves and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species wouid regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform reasons In essence, we'd be Space Orcs. I do hope you realze I'm going to be picking up this stuft and Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES I OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place We formed conabitative relationships with tiny mammais and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps. And by god, we will eat anything e We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food o We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our taone We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth o Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging rights We invented dogs We took our one time predators and o On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet. Kingons and Krogan and Ores aint got s--- on us can we tak about how pursuit predation is f------ terrifying its one thing to face down a cheetah, which will siam into you at 60 mph neck rs another thing to run very quickiy to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of to have it be inteligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and s---, and then you think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spit! again! but it keeps following you always in the corner of your eye untl you just die we are scary m------------ ok

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homunculus-argument My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

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