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The History of North Korea For Use in Schools The History of North Korea For Use in Schools HEROIC MATURATION Our Versatile and Cosmopolitan Leader has visited all seven corners of the Earth. While averaging 300 points per game in the NBA, he discovered art among the cowards and homosexuals of Europe. He also wrote Hamlet painted the Sistine Chapel and composed Beethoven's Fifth Symphony in a single day-and still had time to capture a cheetah with which to weave his blessed mother a fur coat. CHAPTER ONE: KIM JONG IL A Brief History POLITICAL LEGITIMACY In 1994, Kim Jong II's Exalted Father, Kim l-Sung, died like a true revolutionary hero, falling out of a hot air balloon and thus becoming immortal. At this point, a national vote was taken and it was decided by a margin of 13 million to one that his Wise and Benevolent Son should succeed him BLESSED NASCENCY In 1941, a magical hummingbird visited the People of North Korea foretelling the birth of Kim Jong II. Later that year, the hummingbird's prophecy was fulfilled atop Mount Paektu, the highest mountain ever. Kim JongI emerged. walki The lone dissenter was beaten to death with chickens by an angry mob, even though his errant vote was an accident For this reason (the safety of the People of North Korea), voting is no longer practiced. gina six months prematurely and without the aid o a physician, thus rendering the Korean medical community irrelevant. In shame, all doctors fled our Great and Innovative Nation never to return. 12 13 WHAT THE F--- AMI READING

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