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A REAL HUMAN BEING AND A REAL HERO APPETIZERS★ uy's Big Balls 26.95 Snuggle up to two 4-pound Rice-A-Roni crusted mozzarella balls endangered with shaved lamb and pork and blasted with Guy's signature Cadillac Cream sauce until dripping off the plate. Served nestled inside a tempura pickle, with a side of maximum-well-done duck skin Extra Wet Naps 3.50 H-----Tonky Double Barrel Meat Loaded Blast 14.50 A Sammy Hagar lookalike pushes your face into a leather bag filled with oil and if you eat the whole thing, you get to eat a 13 pound burger. The "Hobo Lobo Bordello Slam Jam" Appetizer 49.95 We take 38 oz of super-saddened, Cheez-gutted wolf meat, lambast it with honey pickle wasabi and pile drive it into an Ed Hardy-designed bucket. Sprayed with Axe and finished with a demiglaze of thick & funky Mushroom Dribblins. ★ ENTREES Prufrocktoberfest 22.95 Beer-seasoned local meat with a peach and ether glazed Marlboro Light, slathered in Mid West Hot Rod Style Flavor Juice Superbow! Bash Bro'det 37.95 A bidet jammed to the brim with bubbiing, overflowing Velveeta over a hidden layer of hamburger-fisted pig skins and a generous sprinkling of Dirty South Couch Crumbs. The bidet is an MP3 player that plays Smash Mouth while vou eat. Serves one Reno!!! 26.50 Popcorn crusted popcorn chicken stuffed inside Guy's Nuthin' Fancy Meatloaf and superbanged in a volcano of Tabasco butter. We pour it into a Lucite heel, smother it with our own special jalapeno sugarbrew, and set it on your lap on a neon sign. Served drunk and on fire Add a Cinnabon and two more Cinnabons 4.95 Panamania! 24.50 Deep fried snake with a printed out picture of David Lee Roth stapled on it and a sparkler sticking out of each eye. Served with a side of Bud Light you have to wring out of a Hawaiian shirt. The Blitzmas Beast 28.50 Two jumbo Big Gulp Slurpee cups filled with nacho cheese and tied to each other with 25 bacon strips fashioned into a giant Slim Jim style jus, and topped with a dollop of smoked kitchen leavings. Captain Beefheart 33.50 Kalimaaaaa!! A natural Black Angus beef heart slow-cooked in a fiery sriracha honey wasabi BBQ sauce and set on a rotating lazy Susan Comes with two drumsticks of fried mortadella so you can rock out American style at your table bow. Shellacked with Football: The Meal 1995 Warm, broken hamburgers, served in a clear plastic bag encolsed in a larger, black trash bag. Thrown at you from 40 yards. GO BIG OR GO HOME! SIGNATURE DISH SIDE SALAD FRIES The Olive Garden 15.90 22 pounds of wine-stunned Kalamata olives tumbled over chopped iceberg lettuce and and served in a trough, family-style. Ranch hose optional, but recommended Natural cut fries are cooked to crispy, golden perfection and shown absolutely no mercy! Thousand IslandDonkamole Doritos 7.50 7.50 8.50 IF YOU CAN EAT HERE, YOU'RE A SHARK!M

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Guy's American Kitchen and Bar Spoof Menu


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