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Rose Lalonde - - - - - Kristen Stewart IMom - - - - - - - - - - Sharon stone Jade Harley - - - - - Miley Cyrus Jasper "Jack" English- Nicholas Cage Bec - - - - - - - - - Robin wi11iams sylvia "Snowman" - - - Jada Pinkett smith Director - - - - - - M. Night Shyamalan, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer screenwriter - - - - - M. Night shyamalan & Michael Bay Plot Dave strider (LeBeouf) lives a sheltered life with his estranged father Johnson), choosing instead to surf the web day and night, chatting with his online riends: Rose Lalonde (stewart), who 1ives a similarly shut-in life while at odds with her mother (Stone) John Egbert (Murphy), an effeminate man who lives with his brother Goodinq, Jr.) and 1ikes to chat online as if he were a young boy in what he ca1ls Epic Lü1z"; and Jade Harley (Cyrus), who takes care of her grandfather (walken) and rarely ever talks for long online. A11 four of these characters hold one common interest, however: They a11 love to play beta versions of video games. From leaked pre-releases to developer ' s copies of the classics, the four gamers love discussinc the various bugs and gameplay changes that were present before the final release. So when a contest is announced to determine the four players that will become beta testers for a game said to be unbeatable, it should come as no surprise that Dave, Rose, John, and Jade would be the first to sign up. It would be surprising for them, however, when they learn that al1 four of them were, in fact, the winners of the contest The game is called "sburb", an alternate-reality simulator that affects the real world as you play it. when our four players enter the game, they find themselves in The Medium, a wonderful land that defys a11 laws of physícs and logic. However, any ha et stomed to their surroundings turns into a race against time whe as happene final boss of the game, The Sburb Entity, has kidnapped the players' Guardians (Dave':s Dad, Rose's Mom, J0hn's Bro, and Jade's Grandpa), and now they have only 72 hours to reach the final level, defeat the final boss, and rescue their Guardians, or else they wi11 be lost forever. As our players trek through the various lands of Sburb, they can only wonder: who would create such a game, with such horrifying gameplay? Jasper English (Cage), affectionately referred to by others as "Jack", is the lead developer of Sburb, as well as the game's designer. "Jack" is also the Mayor of skaia city, where the development offices are held. why are these facts important? Because Jack wishes to use the publicity of the beta to boost his senatorial campai avor een campaign manager and bodvquard sylvia (Pinkett smith, also as ever known as "Snowman", at his side, there wi11 be nothing in his way to achieve his goals. A11 jack has to do is make sure the four gamers chosen to be beta testers don't make it to the end of the game. To ensure this, he has coded in a special defense system: T. R.o.L.L. S. (cook), a hivemind-A. I. that wi11 ensure unpredictable attacks upon players whenever they least expect to enter conflict. Jack also knows, another om ne o 21 own raitor? wil ey even to make it to the end of the game to rescue their Guardians? what crazy Shenanigans will Bec and The T.R.O.L.L. S. instigate? All this will be shown in the act om om ect

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Your name is CURTIS YARVIN, but most people know you by your awesome online psue donym ME NCIUS MOLDBUG. You are the leading figure of the NEORE ACTIONARY MOVEMENT, abbreviated as NRx. Your hobbies are METAP OLITICS, OBSCURE HISTORY , and CRYP TOCURRENCIES. You're also best friends with a rad bodybuilding philosopher named BRONZE AGE PERVERT. (At least that' s what he calls himself online. Psue donyms are pretty common on this side of the net.) What will you do next? > Pester BAP.

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