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Im sorry I'm really, really sorry about this, Shicchan. All of this, everything that's happened, and everything that's going to happen, if I couid take it all back, or if l could stop it, I would but I really can't And I can't just ive with this, either. I've tried realy hard to just put it behind me. I thought maybe if I thought more about the future and less about the past I could be happy, and I could let you be happy and just be happy knowing you and Hicchan were happy too. I'm sure if the positions were swapped he'd be able to do that, he's really done such a great job working through his problems and putting the past behind him I guess we're different ike that But we're also kinda the same. We've got some similar tastes, for sure, and we're both really hard workers, even though Hicchan's a lot smarter than me. And we both love you a lot. guess we're also similar cause we've both got broken hearts, and you can't fix a broken heart, there isn't any way to make it go away, you can only cover it up, and try to keep it working for as long as possible and try to dull the pain. Hicchan's a lot stronger than I am, though, and I think with you looking after each other, he'll live a good, long time But I can't Ive reached the breaking point, and even the medicine that kept me working hurts. I can't even look forward to spending me with you, because every time I do it just hits me again that I can never have you, and Ijust have to force on a smile and bite my ip to keep from crying. And I just can't anymore. can't do anything, can 1?I can't live ike this anymore, and i can't lie like this anymore, and I can't do what Hicchan does for you, and can't, I just can't I just want you to be happy Im so sorry, Shicchan. I hope you can forgive me I love you

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