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infinitelymonstrous *thor hands peter a mug of beer* Thor: Exellent work in the mission man of spiders! Tony: Thor no the kid is 15. Thor: Oh! *hands peter two mugs of beer* Thor: You are a growing boy. Tony: Thor no. randomingoftherandomness I can see this happening Source: infinitelymonstrous 23,348 notes A

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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The Imp wants to be thrown! It's Enrichment for them

wildhaunt: cipheramnesia: toskarin: toskarin: me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions [5 years later] highly throwable imp: hoohoohee me: hmm fallentitan98 toskarin 36m ago The Imp wants to be thrown, throw the Imp. #consider. it's enrichment for them #you ever thrown a little kid repeatedly into a couch or bed or trampoline and become cooler than god to them?? dzamie thydungeonguy 17m ago no it's fine they like being thrown rondalthon-rich thepleasuregoblin 11m ago It's perfectly reasonable to toss around SOME of ur minions but after a certain percentage of your own minions destroyed, it's just fiscally irresponsible. Just checking in with the chuckable imp union, how's negotiations going? it's really up in the air right now

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Monster Mash

Follow okay, skeletons have xylophones, demons have fiddles, ghosts have theremins and vampires have pipe organs. but what of the humble werewolf? what instrument does she get for her very own? Follow Werewolves are vocalists. What instrument could rival her beautiful howl? Follow d They're in a band together 86.6K notes 20 eep

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Loch Ness Mobster

jiggs-deactivated20160413 asked favorite creature of Legend / Myth rosekin Follow loch ness mobster sapphicscaly that is. quite hte mispelling transmemesatan "this ain't seelie OR unseelie territory, see? me and my boys run the lakes and the rivers round these parts, and I won't see no upstart nuckelavees thinkin' they can change that." coulsart Follow

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the last bishounen tragically died of old age in captivity today.

frankenfran Follow the last bishounen tragically died of old age in captivity today. bishounen once thrived in the 80's-90's but were slowly outcompeted by invasive femboys and twinks. if you know any 40 year old fujoshi who have had a username with "sephiroth" in it since the 90's or a tgirl with a Griffith icon, please reach out and offer support as this news may weigh heavy on them.

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Feline Division of Labor

prokopetz I swear my cats have developed a division of labour when it comes to pestering me for stuff. One of them only bugs me about empty food bowls, and the other only bugs me about empty water bowls - never vice versa! prokopetz I have literally watched the cat who only asks for water run and fetch the other cat so she could give me hell about the food situation.

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This is not a day I wanted to find out that many of my plates probably contain dangerous levels of these chemicals

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Wizard War

C devious-buffoon Follow Dec 6 S--- man, this wizard war is f-----. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar s---, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common s--- like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the f--- outta here. 14,274 notes

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man me a sand

redpyros mr sandman man me a sand thesylverlining Make it the cutest man car door hook hand 366,205 notes

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Magical Moms

sailor-sappho reblogged virtualgirladv kickloop Follow okay hear me out a magical girl anime but with moms instead satsukitomoe I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED DINNER YET!! raisnutheraichu Follow I have a mighty need. གང་ Pad oolongearlgrey Follow Plot Twist: the main villain is ALSO a mom "A woman must be strong to protect that which she holds most dear..." YES sailor-sappho Follow imgflip.com

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It's a Side Quest

Passed out at a London bus stop. Woke up to this. dogbirthday go with him jumpingjacktrash he wants to show you something

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He is Him

funkykong friendly reminder that he iamtheproxy1 he what he funkykong TARONGA

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"its so funny to me that people on twitter n tiktok are like “ok but porns still banned on tumblr so at least we’re better then them” as if they dont have to typ3 w0rd$ I1k3 th!$ to get around their censors"

mahgck its so funny to me that people on twitter n tiktok are like "ok but porns still banned on tumblr so at least we're better then them" as if they dont have to typ3 word$ 11k3 th!$ to get around their censors mahgck twitter Hey, hey and tiktok look at me. murder hole die boob penis gay lesbian kill f--- Bitch. dzamie y34h, 4t 134st on this s1t3 you c4n t3ll th4t th3 p3rson h4s 4 p4rt1cul4r, mor3 4nnoy1ng r34son to typ3 11k3 this mahgck i want to you to eat deodorant 199,151 notes 17 ઈ

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Tumblr - "I can see this happening"

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infinitelymonstrous *thor hands peter a mug of beer* Thor: Exellent work in the mission man of spiders! Tony: Thor no the kid is 15. Thor: Oh! *hands peter two mugs of beer* Thor: You are a growing boy. Tony: Thor no. randomingoftherandomness I can see this happening Source: infinitelymonstrous 23,348 notes A

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