Howdy! You must login or signup first!

How I've Been I've done a lot since you last heard from me. It wasn't all bad. After getting out of the psych ward, I left home and went to live with my girlfriend. I like to think all my good luck went into having her around. We had rough days during this, but she was so caring, didn't judge me for mistakes I made years ago, knew what decisions were healthy, and never stopped believing I wasn't that same person any longer. You are the greatest, sweetie! As soon as I felt stable, I took care of her because this situation affected her a lot too. All of this wasn't fair to her, and I helped cause it. For both our sakes, I cannot and will not make a mistake like this again. I work hard every day to make sure our future together can be a happy, comfortable life. We had a particularly memorable night where I opened up about the full timeline that got me here. I cried a lot, but by the end of it, we were acting like things were normal again, laughing and making fun of each other. It was a big turning point. I think it was the moment I finally forgave my past self. I didn't get another job but instead lived as a house husband, making sure everything was taken care of for her. My care made me a better chef and gave me a greater understanding of what she's always done for me. I had some struggles with spending every waking moment writing down video ideas because it was the only routine I knew. My girlfriend liked that I was passionate about something at first, but later worried because it put pressure on me to consider a return to videos. She was right, but stopping was an especially difficult thing to do. This craft has been so much of my life up to this point, and I've always loved the joy it brings to others. It gave me a strong purpose. I just kind of sat around for days, not knowing what to do with myself.

+1

Chuggaaconroy "How I've Been" 1


Uploaded by Phillip Hamilton Apr 17, 2024 at 11:01AM EDT

Share Pin Download More

Origin Entry: Chuggaaconroy Foot Fetish / Sexual Harassment Allegations

File type: jpg

Resolution: (419px x 680px)

File size: 102 KB


After communicating with Emile, we would like this message out there. Yes, Emile and I were engaged. Keeping it private was a mutual decision, especially through the first several years. After that, when Emile expressed interest in becoming public, I was hesitant because of how much social pressure was already put on our relationship. He was respectful of that, and we proceeded with the status quo. We do not condone the harassment of any party, and the omission was an effort to prevent speculation about our now very separate personal lives. Ultimately it was a personal matter and a joint decision between two adults. I would like to reiterate that my objective with my previous post was just to be left alone, and that has not changed. I was being asked a lot of invasive questions with increasing frequency, as I'm sure Emile has as well. We do not want to be associated, we do not want to hear of each other moving forward- a mutual sentiment as our paths are now completely separate and we want to move on with our lives. Although I cannot be a part of his journey, I wish Emile luck on his healing and his path forward.
Regardless of my clarifications and context, I definitely still made mistakes and learned lessons, as well as learned new things about how my mind works. I don't want to get carried away and make it sound like I'm 100% blameless. I needed psychiatric help for my depression and roleplay behavior. I took your criticism of my person seriously and am forever working every day to ensure nothing like this could ever happen again. It will not happen again. I'm a fan of numbers, so let me show you. Since privately confronted about this, I: •Saw my therapist 6 times before anything was made public. •Completed 11 behavioral health sessions with a psychologist. Continuing to do so for the foreseeable future. •Spent 5 nights in a mental ward and have met with my doctors twice since then. •Read numerous medical articles to understand my conditions better and how to avoid mistakes. •Have never missed a dosage of 4 medications and supplements that better regulate my brain activity. •Have not ever wanted to roleplay again. •Feel more self-aware and cognizant than at any point in my life up to this point. I can be absolutely certain I would never disappoint you like this again. And I say that knowing you will hold me to a higher standard than ever. I have and always will continue to give it my all in the psychiatric help I sought out. In my mind, nothing after my apology changed that I meant every word and was already in the process of making good on all of this. Months before anything went public. Some of these, I learned and grew from many years ago. I would have been here to tell you this sooner had my mental trauma not kept me from it. I needed to heal.
Moving Forward I'd like to make an ode to my friends. Several reached out the night I came home from the hospital. They didn't want me to be alone and still believed I was a good person. Heck, I think some of you believed I was more innocent than I did. It took me a while to see this your way. I love all of you, my friends. Even if you were critical of me, I cannot bring myself to not love you. Some of it was things I already agreed with, some of it was things I needed to hear. And some of it was telling me this wasn't as bad as I thought. I want to thank my best friend Tim/NintendoCapriSun. He handled so many decisions in all of this for me when I was not well enough to make them for myself. He cooked for me every day when I wasn't allowed near the knives. I think you really saved me. Please support him with all you can. I didn't say this last time. I'm so sorry for all the heartache and worry I caused my friends and caused you. I worked hard every day to make sure I would never make you feel like this again and could be dependable once more. I really didn't mean to do harm here, and feel I've learned about myself in ways I didn't know I needed to. These are positive things.
View All 98 Images


More:

+ Add an Image

Image Details

104 views (12 from today)

Uploaded Apr 17, 2024 at 11:01AM EDT

Origin Entry

Chuggaaconroy Foot Fetish / Sexual Harassment Allegations

Source

Twitter

Tags

chugga allegations, chugga, lady emily chuggaaconroy

Claim Authorship Edit History
Textile Embed