Jesus says stop being thirsty | Jesus | Know Your Meme

ithelpstodream My favorite bible story is when instead of telling women to dress modestly, Jesus tells his dudes to avoid lust by plucking their eyes out 5/13/16, 1:44 AM Shells&Emotions @anna_bayla 986 RETWEETS 1,759 LIKES since1938 My man Jesus goddessolga What story is that? ffermented-salmonella Matthew 18:9 livebloggingmydescentintomadness "And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away." beachfox "Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!" "Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don't have to see all those bodies anymore?" "wut" "What?" "Shouldn't you tell them to... stop dressing like that or something?" "Don't see why. It's not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a f------ sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself." "Uh...." "Or learn to keep it in your g'damn pants no matter what they're wearing." dinosaurrainbowstarfish He goes on for like several examples too. "How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when...they're dressin like that?" "Cut it off." "wut" "Cut it off. Your hand. If it's a problem, stop having a hand." "wut" "What" corporationsarepeople "Did I f------ stutter?" Ivdeo And for our variety hour, here's some nice things about Jesus Source: ithelpstodream 473,449 notes ifunny.co

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tilthat TIL there is no physical description of Jesus in the Bible. via ift.tt False volcel-official Luke 2:52 He's larger than a baby amateuropinions By the description of him driving the moneylenders from the temple, we can also tell that he fit inside the temple, which gives us an upper bound as well as a lower bound on his size. veraxplus It's been said that Jesus Christ was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple Source: tilthat 3,075 notes D

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