THE DAD The Dad @thedad When my wife was pregnant I asked the midwife how many babies she had to deliver to become a fullwife and she shot my wife 11:20 AM 2022-06-04 . Buffer . 623 L S

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Aaron Patterson @tenderlove I like to add and â€™ any time I submit online forms because I know that some developer is going to see it and wonder if they have a bug 1:21 AM Apr 20, 2016 Echofon 3.8K Retweets 5.4K Likes

Stephen J. Graham @sjggraham - Nov 1 Why do Germans hate gorillas? Los Gorilas The Gorillas Die Gorillas fabulosos animales ueden llegar a medir 18 my pesar má heshpressive animal cn grow up to 1.8 m tall and eeindruckenden er werden bis zu 1,8 mg an weigh und 80 kg. than 180 K schwer

levi jed murphy @levijedmuxphy sometimes i say "huh?" then answer the question before the person even repeats themselves. i'm not deaf, my brain just be laggin like a 2005 Dell desktop x

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Shout Out to Community Notes

Shout out to community notes Readers added context they thought people might want to know Do you find this helpful? Gotta be one of my favorite genders Rate it

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Jellyfish have got it figured out for sure

muhammad ali: float like a butterfly jellyfish: done muhammad ali: sting like a bee jellyfish: i am nailing this 2:12 PM 01 Mar 21- Twitter for iPhone 38.8K Retweets 377 Quote Tweets 321K Likes 27 John C - SweetManbrosia @TheOhi... - 5d Replying to @randyfactory Bruce Lee: "empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water." jelllyfish: "I could not be anymore mindless or like water"

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@twittersupport execute this harlot

soro @cementenjoyer. 7h I do not bother arguing with anyone because I know all of my opinions are correct and facts 27 2 This Tweet is unavailable. Learn more soro @cementenjoyer Replying to @guiltron_ @twittersupport execute this harlot 6:04 PM 28 Mar 22 Twitter Web App :

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Wise choice

Lucas Rush @lucasrush Replace the first 4 letters of both your names with F---.... I'm F---- F---. Jeremy Collingson @jcoollingson Ummmm... I think I'll sit this one

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Brian Krassenstein tells people how to be intelligent and compassive

Brian Krassenstein > @krassenstein - Buy Bud Light - Goto Disney Land - Read books about racism - Read the New York Times - Watch PBS - Watch the NFL Say 'Happy Holidays' - Listen to NPR - Make a Transgender friend - Talk about Evolution Praise Dr. Anthony Fauci - Stick up for Colin Kaepernick - Take college courses about inequality and race - Teach your kids that gay people exist Hate and ignorance drive more conservative votes. Compassion and intelligence does the opposite. BANNED et-Tie SHERMAN ALEXIE CAUTION CAUTA LORD FLIES DE ARTIC RUNNER BEY KHALED HOSSEN the CATCHER RYE M KSFOR 27 PURPLE ALICE WALKER 1984 George Orwell 9:47 PM - Apr 12, 2023 1.2M Views ZORA NEALE HURSTON Stan HING BOOKS CHAD BE Toni Morrison Sadly 1,587 Retweets 310 Quotes 8,439 Likes 119 Bookmarks loved Q Shared for ** L STAMPED FROM THE BEGINNING tam Kendi ANGIE THOM THE HATE GIVE CAUTION

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Another wooden ball. Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy, like a mood ring or a novelty eraser?

Steven (with a ph) @SJKSalisbury Another wooden ball. Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy, like a mood ring or a novelty eraser? 3:12 PM Oct 11, 2019

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Fairly Odd Twitter

Tetsuo @TetsuoTheGoat Real ones would've wished for this 500 Storm @DaRealBiggStorm - May 5 Timmy Turner really wasted them fairies Show this thread 10:21 PM - May 8, 2023-91K Views O I woulda been a billionaire :

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We went to the planetarium today and when the voiceover said “this is the earth” one of the kids booed

Wealthy Recluse @a_lolbrarian We went to the planetarium today and when the voiceover said "this is the earth" one of the kids booed 8:06 PM Jan 13, 2018

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Fate: Tempted

Cyy @cyynapse god damn it Cyy @cyynapse · May 2 if this actually comes out this month i will post my full c--- AND balls System Shock @SystemShockGame Mar 14 . It is I, SHODAN, the all-knowing, all-powerful Al that you so foolishly attempted to destroy. But fear not, I will return more formidable than ever. SYSTEM SHOCK releases on PC on 30 May 2023 More info: fal.cn/3wyNf BRE WILL DEAL WITH YOU ALL ON MAY 30TH SHODAN: ...

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welcome to business class

the hype @TheHyyyype flight attendant: welcome to business class me: thank u flight attendant: close ur books for a pop quiz me: oh f--- 4:05 PM - May 5, 2023 258.7K Views

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Twitter Minor Moment

ADULTS ONLY!!! GTFO! ADULT CONVERSATION G YERER F--- OFF SEEW! STOP IT! YOU'RE GROSS! j m child WHY ARE YOU TALKING TOME!? PETS CHILE! Do! 'P---' DA

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Know Your Meme

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