What the f--- did you just f------ say about my pies, you little p---- in booties?

Notes:

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Lovett's Murder Pie Academy, and I've been involved in numerous underworld bake-offs, and I have over 300 confirmed kills and blue ribbons. I am trained in unicorn warfare and I'm the top warlock in the entire Far Far Away armed baking forces. You are nothing to me but just another pie filling. I will wipe you the f--- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this or any story, mark my f------ words. You think you can get away with saying that s--- to me over the Fairynet? Think again, furball. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of bakers across Del Mar and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, furball. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your 9th life. You're f------ dead, kitten. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can bake you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare thumb. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed baking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Magical Nanny Bag of Mass Destruction and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Discworld, you little s---. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f------ tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will s--- fury all over your furry face and you will drown in it. You're f------ dead, kitty.