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Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)16:45:38 No.23597742 >>23598046 >Buy musket for home defense >Finally one night I hear a crash >Dawn my powdered wig and petticoat >musket is ready to fire. >my home surround sound is also primed and ready to play "The Royal Hussars" >Hit play >"TALLÉY HO LADS!" >run downstairs and into my living room >two men are carrying my T.V. >put a basketball sized hole in one >The other attempts to drop my T.V and run >"AFIX BAYONETS GENTLEMEN" >Charge after him >Jam my bayonet into his anus as he tries to climb back through a broken window. >call police >have tea ready for them.

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>Buy Musket for Home Defence


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Origin Entry: Own a Musket for Home Defense

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Anonymous Based people 10 KB JPG Greentext thread of based s your family has done Ill go first 06/03/22(Fri)20:23:23 No.68898367 >Be me, 19 >My grandpa (60ish) still actively uses Internet, lives in a not so safe area >I show him the greentext about the Anon with a musket, You know how it goes >He thinks its hilarious >He talks about old weapons (He was in 'Nam, so he has a lot of experience) >Next day he sends me a picture >Its him holding a f ng musket >He posts it to fb and all that jazz, we get a good laugh About a month 18er >Get a call, apparently 3 s tried beating a middle schooler near my Grandpas house >Grandpa walks out with the musket, and starts shouting at the >The Trio of ng bolt and my grandpa shoots in their direction >F------ SHATTERS a window of some store >Im not talking like 4-5 pieces, Im talking I ing POWDER. got sent to jail, >He got in the newspaper too, Middle schooler only had a few bruises I think my grandpa is the most based man on the planet Pic is not my grandpa, its just some pic I got off the internet 8 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
- I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. - Four ruffians break into my house. - "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. - Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man. He's dead on the spot. - Draw my pistol on the second man. Misses him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbor's dog. - I have to resort to the cannon at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot. - "Tally ho, lads." The grapeshot shreds two men in the blast. The sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. - Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. - He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are difficult to stitch-up. - Just as the founding fathers intended. Tally ho, retards
>Be me >Be sleeping >Hear a window smash at 3:49am >Grab my home defense musket because that's what the founding fathers intended when they wrote the second amendment 32 KB JPG >Run out of the room and see two masked men >Fire musket at first one, blows a hole a foot in diameter in him >He's dead on the spot >Musket ball continues to fly wildly going through my neighbor's wall and nails his dog >Grab my flintlock pistol and fire it at the second man >Musket ball misses entirely because is smoothbore >Ball goes through other neighbors house and destroys his TV >Fix Bayonet to musket and jab the second guy 15 times >Reload my musket in case any more rapscallions arrive >Police knock and enter upon hearing the ruckus >Can't hear or see because of the flintlocks report >Mistakenly shoot the police officer >Stabbed guy bleeds out at the hospital after using four pints of blood because triangle bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up >Just as the founding fathers intended.
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