Hyness joins the Foundation. | SCP Foundation | Know Your Meme

The following is a message composed via consensus of the 05 Council. We are the masters of a power driven to the far reaches of the universe, and we have but one desire! Can one such as you possibly fathom how dearly we have clung to this dream across the aeons? How could you! You couldn't! Never ever ever! We who once faced those who were in such fear of our power that they sealed us away and banished us to the edge of the galaxy! US! As if THAT loveliness wasn't enough, they tried to erase our very existence from history! RUDE! Only through our magic were we able to overcome their science and achieve great prosperity! We alone were responsible for stopping that repulsive nightmare of a galactic crisis, yet this is how you repay us! This won't stand! It won't be forgiven! It won't be forgotten! Never ever EVER! Those who called us mad, are you listening? You left us at the edge of the galaxy to be forgotten, then went along your merry way, probably living somewhere pretty and peaceful! But know this! Your future is a farce! You have none! We, masters of a matter most dark, vow to be restored, as foretold in the book of legend, which everyone thought was just a fairy tale! It WASN'T! We have already obtained the vessel that contains our Dark Lord, and he will soon awaken and shower us in compassion! Look! The vessel of our Dark Lord is filling up even as we speak! Now the time for his greatness to enter our world has come! Welcome to a new history! A new age! The age of awesome! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARK LORD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! There will be no further communication.

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Addendum 7143.2: Personnel Personal Testimony Note: The following testimony was gathered during an anonymous survey to ascertain the overall staff opinion of RPC-7143-J. Certain portions have been expunged for the sake of decency. Names have been included to further shame those who might have illicit thoughts about the beautiful and graceful RPC-7143-J. Agent Romerville: Yeah they're pretty sweet. I see him sometimes winking at me down the hall. Think they're tryin' to get at me. Dr. Cornwall: You mean RPC-7143-J? Yeah, I call her Stacy. I know she wants me. She plays pretty hard to get, but she glistens a little differently for me, you know? Dr. Hughes: Oh yeah, I'd really one of those Latch Escutcheon plates EXTREMELY NSFW FILE PHOTO from the pyrotechnics lab and just then let him Note: Data expunged, h--------. What the f--- is wrong with you people? -Dr. Celf and then take Researcher Axwell: I invited him out for drinks last week. Kind of gave me the cold shoulder, but he's pretty far out of my league anyway. Pretty dreamy though, don't you think? Knob ↓ Researcher Chambers: I would f--- the s--- out of that doorknob. Dr. Lee: I've been working on my pickup lines, here, listen! "Hey baby, why don't you and me go turn in for the night?" Get it? Turn in? Because... turning? Guys?

GoliathBoneSnake • 2 yr. ago This used to be one of my favorite SCPs, so iirc- Rough is basically separating whatever you put in the "Intake" side into it's base elements or general chemical makeup. Like if you put an animal through the rough setting, you'll get a puddle of blood and fluids, a stack of meat, and a pile of cubed bone. A stuffed animal will produce a pile of fluff and strips of fabric Coarse will chop whatever it is into recognizable portions. A person on the coarse setting will give two arms, two hands, two legs, two feet, a torso, and a head - probably with the eyes and hair removed and set to the side. 1:1 will exchange what you put in for something of equal value. For instance, putting in a 20oz Pepsi will produce a 20oz Dr Pepper. Putting in a Chihuahua might produce a Boston Terrier. Fine will upgrade whatever is supplied by removing any impurities and improving any mechanical or biological functions. Putting in 10 pounds of iron will output 10 pounds of stainless steel. Putting in a dairy cow will put out an animal that gives twice as much milk that's twice as nutritious. Very Fine will improve the intake beyond the laws of physics or sane reason. Putting in a laptop will give out a functional intelligent android. Running an apple through will give out some super fruit that keeps you full for days, cures the common cold, and sprouts a whole orchid from your poop after you digest it. 13 Share Joey Sinclair • 2 yr. ago This is literally the best and easiest to understand description of 914 I've ever read. Thank you so much. Share 6 ***

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