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f ALBANY, NY-Staring down the store's staff as she wracked her brain, local woman Monica Hadwin was reportedly desperately seeking an excuse to assault retail workers Tuesday now that the state's mask mandate had been lifted. “I walked in without a mask and all I got was a 'Hi, how are you today?'-what the hell am I supposed to do with that?" said Hadwin, who flexed her hands achingly as she surveyed the shop's maskless staff and customers, longing for the perceived slight that would allow her to justify lunging across a counter to claw at a teenager's face. "I guess no one offered me a free sample when I walked in, I could run with that. Or I could step out of the dressing room in a new outfit and then start screaming if nobody compliments me? No, that's stupid. Even a 'Masks Recommended' sign or a bottle of hand sanitizer would be enough, but Jesus Christ. They just have to make this difficult." At press time, Hadwin perked up immediately upon overhearing a worker speaking Spanish.

From The Onion: Woman Desperately Seeking Excuse To Assault Retail Workers Now That Mask Mandate Lifted | /r/FuckYouKaren


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Dear Anonymous Passerby, Don't worry, you're safe now! Your act of casual cruelty was successful. The complaint you lodged with the HOA was heard. They had me take down the small treefort that I built on this location with my sons during the pandemic. No longer will its presence offend your walk) past my house. Please enjoy your stroll free from the sound of my children's play and laughter. They are safely back inside now, watching television I'm sure. Enjoy the unobstructed view of my backyard. I will try to keep it up to code. Best, -Dave
Rylee @RyleeMoser FOR WHAT REASON DOES EVERY APARTMENT COMPLEX HAVE A DOG WEIGHT LIMIT OF 20 POUNDS? I can promise you my 90 pound golden retriever is a hell of a lot better behaved than Karen's 7 pound p------------ devil worshipping chihuahua
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