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A raptorific bruce wayne maintains a presence on all conspiracy theory boards with the screen name BruceWaynelsTheBatman and all his posts have titles like "BRUCE WAINE IS BAT-MAN INDISPUTABLE PROOF" and it's just a picture of Bruce Wayne from the back next to a picture of Batman from behind and they both have the contours of their butt drawn on in a s----- MSPaint red line (note: Bruce is in a suit and Batman has a cape, neither of their butts are clearly discernible) and the quote "THE BUTTS MATCH!!! THE FACTS DON'T LIE!!!" and he makes at least three of these posts a day, and "Bruce Wayne is the Batman" becomes a meme a la "Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer" and he gets asked about it on a talk show and he laughs uproariously at the idea and Stephen Colbert just HAPPENS to have a batman mask under the desk and they do a bit together where Bruce Wayne puts on the mask and walks around saying things like "excuse me, bank robbers, can I perhaps offer you some money to stop you robbing this bank?" and "I say, cease and desist your criminal behavior or l'll have my butler ask you to leave" and the audience is LOSING THEIR MINDS laughing at the idea of this pampered rich guy taking on the Joker on a bi-weekly basis and then anyone who suggests "Bruce Wayne is Batman" in earnest gets met with mocking "oh man do the butts match" comments kyraneko Imagine, someday, the Joker actually finding out a) that Batman is Bruce Wayne and b) that he's spent their entire shared career being completely and utterly trolled by this stoic a------ in a bat suit and by that utterly hapless billionaire, and then Bruce-the-Batman leans in and whispers, "The butts match. The facts don't lie," and Jokes can only stare at him in complete and utter awe because Bruce Wayne as the Batman he can sort of wrap his brain around but Bruce Wayne and the Batman are that ridiculously wrong conspiracy theorist TOO, and he's RIGHT?!!! It's the best and biggest bluecreen of the Joker's life, and somehow, he's never been happier. dabard95 The Joker: Why are you telling me this? Batman: Because no one will ever believe you. The Joker: You sick son of a bitch. Source:raptorific 191,350 notes Posted in r/tumblr e reddit

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The butts match


Uploaded by False_Skeptic Jan 31, 2022 at 05:46PM EST

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Origin Entry: Batman

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1/6TH SCALE COLLECTIBLE VEHICLE BATMISSILE™ APPROXIMATELY 24CM DC B BATMAN RETURNS and all related characters and elements © & ™ D and Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WB SHIELD: © & ™ WBEI. ( APPROXIMATELY 109CM APPROXIMATELY 24.5CM PROTOTYPE SHOWN, FINAL PRODUCT MAY BE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT
WE CAUGHT YOU, IVY!!! WE KNOW YOU'RE MAKING A TOXIN TO USE IN GOTHAM!!! WHAT'S THE TOXIN FOR, VILLAIN??? THE TOXIN WOULD TURN MEN INTO WOMEN AND WOMEN INTO LESBIANS. SO EVERYONE IN GOTHAM WOULD BE LESBIANS! RUN! IVY, RUN!!! FINISH YOUR PLAN!!! I'LL HOLD HIM GODDAMIT, THIS IS WHY I DON'T WORK WITH YOU, KATE! YOU DISASTER LESBIAN!!! OFF!!!
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Uploaded Jan 31, 2022 at 05:46PM EST

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Batman

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batman, joker, conspiracy

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