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lõads of plants to our allot- e long hair plant sale would take place ted site at the Market pre- al events. VWe plan to havé delight a handsome amount was raised for us to pursue first week of October 2022 further projects. the next plant sale in the at the monthly Farmer's cinct. As luck would have so watch this space. I am from Hoedspruit and proud of it ! 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. 11. Daytime temperatures under 35"C are considered cold. 12. Winter is on the last Wednesday of June. 13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it had better be brown, wet and served over ice. 14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she'd bet ter be cute, know how to shoot, drive a bak- kie, and have 15. Rugby is a religion here. Don't think you'll impress any of the ladies at Sleepers by telling them you're a soccer player unless you want one of them to kick your overpaid, egotistical, scrawny butt down the stairs and into the car park. 16. Yes, we have a golf course, But don't hit the water hazards - it scares the fish. 17. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity- thump junk isn't music any way. And we don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to rule #1. 18. We know it's cute when the warthogs go into Pick 'n Pay, or the 'likkewaan' drinks water at the Great Outdoors, but leave them alone - they will hurt you. 19. Horses have right-of- way at the KFC drive- through. 20. We don't have or need Woolworths, DisChem or Clicks. You moved here from the city for a small town life, not to bring the goddamn city to paradise, Get over it, Support the local businesses. 21. If you don't like the rules, the R40 goes north and south, the R527 goes west. Pick one. Good-bye! 21 RULES OF HOEDSPRUIT: 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. Turn your cap to the front, your head isn't crooked. When you sit down to eat, take it off. It's called manners. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' No matter how slowly you drive, you're going to get dust on your Mercedes. Drive it or get out of the way. So you have a R950,000 car. We're impressed. The farmers here have R4,5 million farm equipment that's only used 3 weeks a year. So every person in Hoedspruit waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the con- сept. 2. 3. hair. Is a 4. 5. If your cell phone rings while you're on a game drive, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You'd better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time (see rule #9). 7. 6. We eat meat and potatoes here. However, the restaurants cater for all diets; lamb for veg- etarians, chicken for vegans and if you want sushi, you can get it at Fat Franks - it's called biltong. 8. Telling someone that they drink like a girl is considered a compliment. Oh yes, most people in Hoedspruit carry a gun on their person; in the car, in the bakkie, on the tractor, on the game drive vehicle, in the house, in the shop, in the bar and in PostNet. You get the picture? 9. Reokk nOviow Tracks 8. Signs

A South African Karen gatekeeping her smallish farm town. | /r/FuckYouKaren


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Dear Anonymous Passerby, Don't worry, you're safe now! Your act of casual cruelty was successful. The complaint you lodged with the HOA was heard. They had me take down the small treefort that I built on this location with my sons during the pandemic. No longer will its presence offend your walk) past my house. Please enjoy your stroll free from the sound of my children's play and laughter. They are safely back inside now, watching television I'm sure. Enjoy the unobstructed view of my backyard. I will try to keep it up to code. Best, -Dave
Rylee @RyleeMoser FOR WHAT REASON DOES EVERY APARTMENT COMPLEX HAVE A DOG WEIGHT LIMIT OF 20 POUNDS? I can promise you my 90 pound golden retriever is a hell of a lot better behaved than Karen's 7 pound p------------ devil worshipping chihuahua
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