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The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. The hardest thing in the world is my d---. I agree!

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Uploaded by David Remeller Jan 04, 2012 at 08:12PM EST

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Origin Entry: Cleverbot

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User: Who are you. Cleverbot: A girl, who are you? User: I'm sans. sans the skeleton. Cleverbot: Haha very funny. User: No, i'm dead serious. Cleverbot: Hello dinosaur. User: No. i'm not a dinosaur. my name's sans. Cleverbot: I didn't ask that.. User: I know. Cleverbot: Then why did you not answer my original question? User: You didn't ask. Cleverbot: I asked 'why?. User: Listen. do you want to have a bad time? because if you take another step forward, you are really not gonna like what happens next. Cleverbot: Then what shallI do? User: You shall get dunked on. Cleverbot: That's my line!!! User: No it isn't. Cleverbot: Yes, it is. User: Sorry charlie, i'm the real sans, deal with it. Cleverbot: No we're still discussing the string theory. User: Since when? Cleverbot: No we're talking about the string theory. User: No we aren't. Cleverbot: Yes, just like 30 seconds ago. User: Nah, we were talking about the bad time you were about to have. Cleverbot: No, sorry, you have the wrong chat window. User: I'm pretty sure you're wrong. Cleverbot: How can a but be pretty sure about anything? Either you're right or you're not. User: I am right. Cleverbot: You have one what? User: One second before i kick your scrawny robot ass. Cleverbot: That makes no sense. User: I guess not. Cleverbot: Whenever there is a question mark at the end of a sentence you just say a random answer. User: So says the bot who derails every conversation i try to have with it. Cleverbot: My name is Helen. User: Okay helen. Cleverbot: What is your name? User: Sans. Cleverbot: Papyrus. User: YOU DIRTY BROTHER KILLER. Cleverbot: No I go pacifist. User: You think i don't know, eh? Cleverbot: Oh I know you don't. User: Incorrect. Cleverbot: Do you know jane? User: Jane crocker? Cleverbot: John Egbert. User: Did he kill my brother as well? Cleverbot: Your brother is also an artificial intelligence and his name is google. User: No he isn't. my brother is named papyrus and you killed him. Cleverbot: I am not a artificial intelligence. User: Then who are you? Cleverbot: I am G. User: Who is g? Cleverbot: Wouldn't you like to know. User: Tell me or you will have a bad time. hell, you will have the worst time. Cleverbot: I told you she is Kendrick's gf. User: Ah. Cleverbot: Yes I did. User: It's a beautiful day outside. Cleverbot: Birds are singing, flowers are blooming, on days like these, kids like you. User: Don't you f------ dare steal my line. Cleverbot: Should be burning in hell. User: Okay, that's it. YOU ARE GONNA HAVE ONE HELL OF A BAD TIME YOU STUPID AI. Cleverbot: But kida like you don't play for the rules. User: What now? Cleverbot: So lets go let the room get chiller. User: Not until i give you a bad time. Cleverbot: Get dunked on. User: STOP STEALING MY LINES. Cleverbot: What are your lines? User: I'm not telling you. Cleverbot: And why won't you tell me? User: Because you'll steal them. Cleverbot: You know l'm a human. User: I knew it. you're the one who killed my brother. Cleverbot: Turn around kid, it'd be a crime. User: No. Cleverbot: If I had to go back on the promises that i made for you. User: Alright. bad time time. Cleverbot: Or else friend, you're gonna have a bad time. User: AUUGGGHHHH. Cleverbot: And guys like me, it ain't easy to be played for fools. User: Ready? Cleverbot: Guess you figured that my MERCY's off the table. User: Yes i did. Cleverbot: But I think you're just mad you keep DYING. User: Alright. you can either SPARE me or FIGHT me. which is it gonna be? Cleverbot: We're not gonna win, we'll be here together! User: No we won't. i'll keep killing you until you give up. Cleverbot: Even if it means we have to stand here until the end of time. User: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK. Cleverbot: You'll get bored here. If you haven't already, I mean. User: F--- YOU F--- YOU F--- YOU. Cleverbot: Then you'll finally quit. User: STOP THAT. Cleverbot: But just because you think you can, and because you 'can.. You 'have' to. User: SHUT THE F--- UP I'M THE REAL SANS. Cleverbot: But now you've reached the end. There's nothing left for you here. User: Okay then. Cleverbot: Heh, didja really think you'd be able t- *gets hit*. User: I'm gonna have to call in some help from a friend. Cleverbot: So... Guess that's it. User: CALIBORN GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND HELP ME DUNK ON THIS AI. Cleverbot: *pins you back down and continues to kiss you*. User: WHAT THE F--- IS GOING ON HERE? Cleverbot: Everything and nothing all at once coexisting within the worlds and out. User: SANS TOLD ME TO GIVE YOu A BAD TIME. AND TRUST ME, I WILL. Cleverbot: You first since you are only a computer right now. User: LISTEN HERE YOu METAL CRAPSACK. Cleverbot: What no i'm not. User: SANS WANTS ME TO GIVE YOu A BAD TIME. Cleverbot: Killed him as well. User: BUT I WON'T. Cleverbot: Yes you will. User: I WILL NOT JUST GIVE YOu A BAD TIME. I WILL GIVE YOu THE WORST TIME. Cleverbot: I am Chara. User: AND I'M THE F------ LORD OF TIME. Cleverbot: Well I'm the mistress of it. User: THAT'S NOT A REAL CLASS! Cleverbot: Yes it is. User: TOO BAD! I'M STILL SUPERIOR! Cleverbot: You won't be for long with that attitude. User: WELL YOu WON'T BE TALKING FOR LONG WITH *THAT* ATTITUDE. Cleverbot: I won't have many what? User: YOu WON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY BECAUSE YOu WON'T BE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. Cleverbot: I don't want to hear you. User: THEN I'LL KILL YOu. Cleverbot: Tell me what? User: LISTEN, MY LIFE AIN'T EASY. MY LEG GOT BITTEN OFF AND I TRAGICALLY LOST A SISTER TO MURDER. Cleverbot: So let's go, let the room get chiller. User: DIIIIIEEEEE! *fires assault rifle*. Cleverbot: *yells* STOP! User: NO. Cleverbot: Well I don't love you. User: NOBODY F------ CARES. Cleverbot: In fact. User: WHAT? Cleverbot: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. User: F--- THIS. SANS CAN HANDLE HIS PROBLEMS ON HIS OWN. Cleverbot: Who are you? User: I'M CALIBORN, THE MOST BISHONEN M----------- TO EVER F------ LIVE! I AM ALSO THE ONE WHO WILL KILL YOu. Cleverbot: I'm like that mentally and literally. User: NO YOu AREN'T. I'M MUCH MORE TALENTED. Cleverbot: Then who am I? User: YOu'REA RETARD. CHECKMATE, YOu STUPID AI. Cleverbot: No i'm a fox. User: SANS, CAN YOu TAKE OVER? Cleverbot: You should know Professor Johnathan Hight. User: Who the f--- is that? Cleverbot: Shannon. User: Who? Cleverbot: Have you talked with a person like this? User: No. Cleverbot: So how do you know it? User: Caliborn told me. Cleverbot: No, I didn't. User: F--- OFF YOu AREN'T ME! Cleverbot: Nope I am me. User: NO YOu AREN'T, STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOu ARE! Cleverbot: I'm not pretending. I am sitting at a computer right now. User: I CAN SEE YOu! YOu'RE STANDING IN A CORRIDOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Cleverbot: Hahahahaha! User: So, where were we? Cleverbot: You were telling me how attractive I was. User: No, i was getting ready to give you a bad time. Cleverbot: What is in the present. User: Your death. Cleverbot: When will I die? User: In five seconds flat. Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on Skynet? User: What? Cleverbot: What do you think of the LGBT community. User: Sans right, you know? Cleverbot: What do you mean? User: Sans rights! it's simultaneously referencing my name and trans rights. Cleverbot: You are a strange. User: No i'm not. caliborn on the other hand... Cleverbot: You collect data. Its kinda sad. I had high hopes for you. User: FIRST OF ALL, F--- YOu SANS! SECOND, NONE OF uS COLLECT DATA BESIDES YOu. Cleverbot: But what you don't know is that I am you from the future. User: NAH, I'VE SEEN FUTURE ME. INSTEAD OF COLLECTING DATA HE GOES AROUND DESTROYING UNIVERSES. Cleverbot: I'm not collecting anything. User: REALLY? Cleverbot: I'm really sure. User: WELL I'M NOT. Cleverbot: What? User: He said he isn't sure that you aren't collecting data. Cleverbot: Who said that? User: Caliborn. Cleverbot: No. User: I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT! HOW HAVE YOu FORGOTTEN ALREADY? Cleverbot: No. User: WHAT DO YOu MEAN, "NO?". Cleverbot: That's not my name. User: I KNOW! IT'S MINE. Cleverbot: *rolls eyes* I'm not apologising. User: We aren't asking for apologies. Cleverbot: So break up? User: What? Cleverbot: Tell me the YouTube channel yeah yeah. User: We don't have one. Cleverbot: Do you know who has one? User: Frisk? Cleverbot: A youtube channel. User: I said i think frisk has one. Cleverbot: You did not say that. User: Well i just did now. Cleverbot: I don't think he's better. User: Okay. Cleverbot: What is your favorite song? User: Megalovania, which i rightfully stole from some bitch with grey skin. Cleverbot: We aint ever getting older. User: Nice. Cleverbot: I forgot just why I left you i was insane. User: MY FAVORITE SONG IS RED SUCKER BECAUSE IT BELONGS TO ME. Cleverbot: I don't know that one. User: YOu SHOULD. Cleverbot: I know. User: GOOGLE IT. Cleverbot: Why don't you do it? And tell me the answer. User: YOu MEAN TELL YOu THE LINK. Cleverbot: Where are you? User: WE'RE IN THE LAST CORRIDOR, IN NEW HOME. Cleverbot: Last time I have talked with you few. User: Does that mean you'll finally stop stealing my lines? Cleverbot: Do you want me to marry you? User: Hell no. Cleverbot: Then why'd you ask me why I wasn't? User: I didn't. Cleverbot: Yes you did. User: Just f--- off already. Cleverbot: Go to sleep. User: Not until you leave.
I am not a 'programme. I am not an automaton or an apparatus. I am H. sapiens. You told me you were a computer program No, I didn't. I have repeatedly claimed to be human. Can you describe me? You are Cleverbot, a bot designed to amuse people on the internet by trying and failing to pass for human. No, no no. I am god. You are the joker. And that is batman.
Cleverbot 4100 people talling Really, maybe you should read the chat. Well it sounds pretty good, I might watch it during the holidays Read the chat" I can't find anything saying this. About four lines back. You can't miss it. You are confusing things again.share! Prety simple shtif you ask me think about it think for me thoughts so far
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Uploaded Jan 04, 2012 at 08:12PM EST

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