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Hey Vsauce, Michael here. How fast can you run?

cat roomba wlut

Just flipped our microwave on it's side, and he absolutely loves it

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moldy

Wifi repair guy: Sorry bud, it took me a while to get here. Is your internet connection still down? Me: www.google.com x + O google.com 3090639006306000

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moldy john

Don't work hard work intelligent Client: Hello, so I ordered 1000 cubes for my home made pyramid but you sent me 998 ones and 2 spheres. Boss: What do you mean, we don't even sell spheres. Client: Well, apparently one of your employees spent the entire work day cutting two of them into spheres so he can roll them. Boss: Oh lord, it was probably John, he is kind of an idiot. We will fix this as soon as possible. Client: Thanks a lot.

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give us

14:26 LUDSOONSS

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yuck

Do u ever look at someone's lips and... u just wanna mmmmmmm

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Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Peter Griffin 25 July 2006· IT'S PEANST BUTTER HELLY TINE

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So Old

When the dentist's punk ass assistant aint doing their one job with the suction tube so you're just there like deqm Out of all the captions that could've been put with that picture l'm so glad it's that one

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5 Miles

hey there delilah @delilahsmith420 I named my dog "5 miles" soI can tell people I walk five miles everyday Professor Barclay @AlbertBarclay69 i ran over five miles today

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Lies

A 22 years old Dominican married a 72 years old american millionare woman because he loves her and she loves him

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Shooting Its Shot

Nath @NathWrites 2d Netflix, you little flirt NETFLIX Top Pick for me: You Q107 L85.8K O 160K Netflix USO @netflix-13h just shooting my shot. L756 O750

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William

William Osman @CrabsAndScience If a professional piano player is a pianist, is a professional race car driver a racist? @NASCAR 17:57 4/14/20 - Twitter Web App 365 Retweets 5,951 Likes William Osman @CrabsAndScie. - 1d Replying to @CrabsAndScience OMG I totally forgot about people who make rap music L70 V3.386

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Ay Carumba

D--- Chènéy ru legal do u have ur papers no habla ingles ur getting deported que urel getting el deportedo ay carumba

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Microwave

Just flipped our microwave on it's side, and he absolutely loves it

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