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first-mate prance ... @bocxtop don't understand ppl who are productive during the weekend, weekends are for feeling weird and wondering if ur friends hate u 11:12 AM · Oct 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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2d 24 years around the sun today 418 17262 18.4K ↑ ılı eplying to Too old for me. I prefer 16-20, yes I'm 27. :08 AM - 2021-06-19 Twitter for Android

Soham @king26_sk your 20s are all about repeatedly rediscovering basic facts like "I feel better when I wash my face" or "eating breakfast is actually a great idea"

Aye whoever made that bag of cool ranch Doritos with the serial number 28400 07054 you deserve a raise my brother or sister.... extra seasoning all through that mf bag

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watched an old guy walked past and nod hello

WINNING O bobby @bobby watched an old guy walk past this and nod hello REDIBTR HAMPTAN WATER HAM MAT HAMPT HITER 1., . IHAMPTAN WATER PTAN TER NOBLE VINE: ** HAMPT WATE MPTA ATER Rost so HAMPTEN WATER HAMPTA 90 AWPTANMUTIH

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Restocked

OALAPED DE NCENDO 0 EXPLOSION ESONGELAR merOR NO PERFORE Spooky @Hm_Spooky Restocked OFF Mutrition FLAMMABLE USE MECHAN RE AT USED DO NOT SATO DEFROST PELGRO RESGO DE NCENDIO O EXPLOSION. REFRIGERANTE INFLAABLE NO UTLICE DISPOSITIVOS MECANICOS PARA ATUBERADE Catrition Facts Nutrition MU ALAPERFORAC D0OSAMENTE DE LATURER uON E COONES DE PRIDERANTE FLAMABLE ROOT BE No Ca ROOT BEER MUMUE ROOT BE ROOT BEER CAFFEINE MU ROOT NO CA trition Fa EER EER

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I still think that one of the funniest bits of online discourse i've seen is "weird sex is bourgeois b/c you have to spend money on extra things for it"

jolene o lantern @cervixpiercer I sill think that one of the funniest bits of online discourse i've seen is "weird sex is bourgeois b/c you have to spend money on extra things for it" 4:38 PM · Oct 9, 2021 · Twitter Web App

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My 6yo son is upset that everyone in the house is a girl including our dog so he is demanding that I buy him “a boy dog or a non-binary dog”

Erin, but spooky ... @ErinlnTheMorn My 6yo son is upset that everyone in the house is a girl including our dog so he is demanding that I buy him "a boy dog or a non-binary dog" 8:54 AM · Oct 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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Impossible choice

BRING ME FOUR ANTIDOTES, NOW! THERE'S ONLY THREE LEFT! PULL UP THEIR OLD TWEETS. @uncle_ Saucebags

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yep

Chanell @AnggChanell Jobs call you 7 months later like "Are you still interested" bitch l'm homeless you now

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nothing they can do

Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau If you don't get hired for an unpaid internship it literally makes no difference. Just show up and start working. What are they gonna do, pay you?

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I went to see the Addams family 2 and the guy in front of me is eating a whole sweet potato pie

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This Year Marks 21 Years Since Britney Spears Build the Eiffel Tower

2010s @Culture2010s 1d this year marks 21 years since britney spears build the eiffel tower AN2000 O 151 27 21.7K 170K rudy betrayed @rudy_betrayed 3h ? no she didn't. she just took a picture in frontof it O 15 272 O 71 Jen @jenoftheweek · 2h y'all love discrediting women smh. Stop your miscyyny ·.. 个门1 M 230 ,个,

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Writer Moment

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guys that liked these as children now call women mommy on twitter

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I don’t think we need Connecticut

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