Know Your Meme
O Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)17:36:44 No.76979492 >>76979503 >>76979506 >>76979682 >>76979874 >>76979892 >>76980000 >>76980107 >>76979354 >The more I read the worse it gets. >1) Buying the wheelchair GRANTS you proficiency in Land vehicles and Tinker tools. That's right, not 18-20 weeks of study and tutors, but BUYING a wheelchair grants you the knowledge to proficiently maneuver wagons and craft works of artifice >2) It NEGATES difficult terrain of any kind, due to the "Tough Terrain Tyres and Wheel Chains." for a 30gp upgrade you can drive ON WATER. >3) Thanks to the Beacon stone, as a standard feature of all chairs, you can move it mentally with no action or requirement from you, further more, this movement includes FLIGHT, it can move up to 30ft vertically with no action or investment! >4) It comes with a built in mace by driving over peoples feet, that you an use your Dex to attack with! The only one in the game! Plus more damage if they are prone! >5) Impoperly worded attack that claims to require a 10ft run up, but actually has 10ft reach, you can use your wheels as a POLEARM that also knocks people prone if you're going downhilI! >6) If you are moving downhill, you can just choose to gain double-speed! The only drawback is that you have to spend your action to slow your speed by 10ft per action. So if you choose to cruise downhill for that extra 30ft movement, remember that it will take you 6 rounds and 200ft of runway to slow down. How f------ dumb. >7) Free advantage vs being knocked prone! Can't be knocked prone because the wheelchair has 5 wheels! So stable! Another drawback though so it's totally balanced, it takes your entire move, rather than half move to "Stand up" from prone. >All of this for 20gp! That's right, for the price of 2 cows, you too can ignore all difficult terrain (When you're not flying that is!) while also becoming a master tinkerer and caravaneer! But wait, there is more! O Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)17:37:46 No.76979503 >>76979523 >76979566 >>76979682 >>76979874 >>76979892 >>76980070 >>76980107 >>76979492 >>76979354 >For a mere 30gp you can get "Agile suspension!" which gives flat ADVANTAGE on dex saves! F--- yeah! Wizards will HATE you as this upgrade makes you impossible to hit with fireball at the premium of "The pocket change from the first 5 goblins you killed"! >Armour plates that give you just a flat +2AC! Only 50gp for a flat +2AC! All those Paladins wearing their enchanted +2 armour are chumps, for less than the price of your rogues crossbow, you just get +2AC! Which stacks with all other enhancements! It does come with disadvantage on Dex saving throws and stealth checks for some reason, but hey just buy other upgrades to ignore that! >For another 30gp it floats on water, which is dumb because it already FLOATS IN THE AIR for FREE! >Razorwheels, because everyone complained that you can't get a Dex-based greatsword but here it is, the only one in the game! >Oh, and to tap it all off, don't forget the "Supression tires!" You know like gun silences? These on wheels! They give advantage on stealth checks for 25gp! F------ ADVANTAGE! Outstealth your rogue because you've got quiet wheels! Other chumps have to spend hundreds of gold on things like "Boots of Elvenkind" when they could have just been a f------ cripple, you'd think being confined to a wheelchair might make it harder for you to find a sneaky place to hide, but you're wrong! >So for the low low price of 75gp you can have advantage on dex saving throws, stealth checks, any save vs being knocked prone and the ability of FLIGHT! You know what else costs 75gp? Starter chainmail for any and every class.

+6

Behold the Combat Wheelchair! Basically a legendary item that can be bought for less then the price of chainmail!


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Know Your Meme

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