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Oh! Is that a shiny new HEALTH PERMIT? Yep! Nope No permit for me? Fine. Just because I scrimped and saved for years in order to pay for culinary school after being rejected from every cooking college, fast food restaurant, and greasy spoon this side of Sequin Land, why not withhold it? Forget that I had to travel to lands unknown, trading travel fare for an acting job cracking oversized plastic walnuts in some smelly squirrel costume on stage in front of a bunch of snobby dinner theatre patrons.. co.all so that I could find a teacher who would allow me to enroll despite my bad habit of eating the ingredients before the lesson, even when the ingredients were priceless eggs of endangered animals. Besides, how was I to know the difference between a culinary school and a nature preserve anyway, unless someone teaches me, which was, of course, the theme of my entire thesis! And even then no one understood. Not even my culinary instructors, who always wore gorilla suits with no discernible zippers, swinging from their tires and throwing filth. But somehow, between the cradling and hair-grooming sessions, those culinary masters who might just as well have been apes.. c..taught me that the true art of cooking is experienced by going to the store and buying stuff that already exists, such as frozen pizzas and fish sticks which come în colorful boxes with awesome artwork on them! So sure, DENY ME that HEALTH PERMIT and shut me down. Obviously I don't deserve to work hard and serve others in the noble profession of food prep.

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Oh! Is that a shiny new HEALTH PERMIT? Yep! Nope No permit for me? Fine. Just because I scrimped and saved for years in order to pay for culinary school after being rejected from every cooking college, fast food restaurant, and greasy spoon this side of Sequin Land, why not withhold it? Forget that I had to travel to lands unknown, trading travel fare for an acting job cracking oversized plastic walnuts in some smelly squirrel costume on stage in front of a bunch of snobby dinner theatre patrons.. co.all so that I could find a teacher who would allow me to enroll despite my bad habit of eating the ingredients before the lesson, even when the ingredients were priceless eggs of endangered animals. Besides, how was I to know the difference between a culinary school and a nature preserve anyway, unless someone teaches me, which was, of course, the theme of my entire thesis! And even then no one understood. Not even my culinary instructors, who always wore gorilla suits with no discernible zippers, swinging from their tires and throwing filth. But somehow, between the cradling and hair-grooming sessions, those culinary masters who might just as well have been apes.. c..taught me that the true art of cooking is experienced by going to the store and buying stuff that already exists, such as frozen pizzas and fish sticks which come în colorful boxes with awesome artwork on them! So sure, DENY ME that HEALTH PERMIT and shut me down. Obviously I don't deserve to work hard and serve others in the noble profession of food prep.

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