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O°m sure that by tomorrow this whole ugly mess will be a funny memory

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My parents: How come you never socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Goodbye everyone. I will remember you all in therapy

ME: Hello, Nadia. 'Sup, Hot Wheels. Write that down, write that down!

me, going into a public restroom at 7 AM and seeing a sparkly clean toilet with blue water:

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Friend: what music do you listen to? Me: it's complicated Chrisk

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If Spongebob is in quarantine you should too QuAR RANTIN

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my only seratonin molecule making its way through my brain

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wyd after smoking this?

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When the choking went a bit too far but you're happy she opened her eyes again

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3:12 Gordon Can't get 'Cowboy' Burger in his Mouth - Kitchen Nightmares КтснEN IGHTMARES u/cake_patrol123

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Shut your mouth you mediocre clarinet player. | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Isabelle It truly captures the essence of Mediocre.

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Get yourself a man who can do both

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HERE HERE S YOUR CHANGE, S. 08:41 DUARANTI HERE'S YOUR CHANGE SIR.

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Don't read this *cough*

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O°m sure that by tomorrow this whole ugly mess will be a funny memory

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