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CORONAVIRUS WE'RE NOT AFRAID OF YOU. PEOPLE WILL JUST STAY INSIDE FOR A WHILE, AND THEN YOU CAN'T HURT US! YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A BET! IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN STAYING INSIDE FOR A WHILE, OR THROWING A PARTY THAT COMPROMISES THE HEALTH OF YOUR ENTIRE TOWN... WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? THAT DEPENDS! HOW MUCH OF THIS PARTY WILL I REMEMBER? SIXTY-TWO MINUTES! I'LL TAKE THE PARTY!

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My parents: How come you never socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Goodbye everyone. I will remember you all in therapy

ME: Hello, Nadia. 'Sup, Hot Wheels. Write that down, write that down!

me, going into a public restroom at 7 AM and seeing a sparkly clean toilet with blue water:

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CORONAVIRUS WE'RE NOT AFRAID OF YOU. PEOPLE WILL JUST STAY INSIDE FOR A WHILE, AND THEN YOU CAN'T HURT US! YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A BET! IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN STAYING INSIDE FOR A WHILE, OR THROWING A PARTY THAT COMPROMISES THE HEALTH OF YOUR ENTIRE TOWN... WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE? THAT DEPENDS! HOW MUCH OF THIS PARTY WILL I REMEMBER? SIXTY-TWO MINUTES! I'LL TAKE THE PARTY!

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