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devilhs @mr_devilhs guys... ... ..idea that organs are stored in t--- is super creepy. 7:48 PM · Dec 25, 2019 · TweetDeck 389 Likes 22 Retweets

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Ygrene @Ygrene remember when the fbi would threaten you at the beginning of every vhs tape, that was pretty cool 5:09 PM 2023-01-21 315K Views 16.2K Likes 1,136 Retweets 35 Quotes ...

consigliere @moyodre How would you write "I changed a light bulb" on your resume? M @THATYORUBAGUY @MuyiwaSaka Single-handedly managed the suc- cessful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents. от Σ

Hitlercunnyrapist1488 and loliconepstienfan6045 on their way to call gay people degenerate losers 55 dcaang ipsovenater

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i was blackout last night and posted a video of me following an animal down the street and yelling

Aol.com @lukasbattle I was blackout last night and posted a video to my story of me following an animal down the street yelling "what are you? Ive never seen one like you?" and then I woke up this morning, watched it and the animal was just a black trash bag blowing across the sidewalk l'm speechless

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"billionaires are good because they give some of their money to charity"

Senior Oops Engineer @ReinH so I finally figured out what that "billionaires are good because they give some of their money to charity" tweet reminded me of Traduire le Tweet I met a girl crying outside a mall. I asked her what's wrong, she said she lost 200$. So I gave her 40$ from the 200$ I picked up at the entrance. When god blesses you, you must bless others. #funny #humor #jokes #lol #comedy 7,941 notes 5:08 AM · 30 déc. 2019 · Twitter Web App 13,8 k J'aime 4,9 k Retweets

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do you have to do that the angel drinking whole milk in the kitchen at 2AM never mind

Jared Pechacek @vandroidhelsing me: do you have to do that the angel drinking whole milk in the kitchen at 2AM: me: never mind 4:20 AM · Dec 16, 2019 · Twitter Web Client

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ever see a female character being set up as the romantic interest for a dude and you already feel bad for her

Chwistopher @Loudwindow you ever see a female character being set up as the romantic interest for a dude and you already feel bad for her 12:43 AM · 1/12/20 · Twitter Web App 2,375 Retweets 8,887 Likes

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guys joining the military is the male equivalent of fuck this shit i'm gonna be a stripper

guys joining the military is the male equivalent of "f--- this s--- im gonna be a stripper" 8:06 PM · 12/30/19 from Lubbock, TX Twitter for iPhone 47.2K Retweets 238K Likes xp* @vicodinchild 2d Replying to @97Vercetti yeah but one is a noble career, which takes a lot of bravery and courage, and the other is the military O 26 O 11.7K 271,035

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someone said that your customer service voice is just baby talk for boomers and i can't get over that

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classic misdirection

M@thew @TweetPotato314 murderer: run if you want to live me: *starts sprinting* murderer: not like toward me tho

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begone you foul demon cotton eyed joe, thy grasp faded on this plane long ago, from whence you came there you shall go, i seal thee away, cotton eyed joe

debt grips @slimerobots woke up midflight, made this note, immediately went back to sleep begone you foul demon cotton eyed joe, thy grasp on this plane faded long ago, from whence you came, there you shall go, i seal thee away, cotton eyed joe Modified: 9:10 PM/Created: 9:08 PM 6/28/17, 8:16 PM 3,793 Retweets 6,888 Likes

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They would drink tea with milk in it without being British

the drake gatsby @DrakeGatsby Me: Man T-Rexes looked so col Scientist: Nah actually they looked like giant idiot birds Me: Oh bummer. They were great hunters tho Scientist: There's evidence they were scavengers Me: Ok maybe just stop ruinin- Scientist: They wore socks with sandals 9:22 AM · 1/4/20 · Twitter for iPhone

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Twitter / X - Its a horrifying idea

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devilhs @mr_devilhs guys... ... ..idea that organs are stored in t--- is super creepy. 7:48 PM · Dec 25, 2019 · TweetDeck 389 Likes 22 Retweets

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