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joka my mom me a five hour * lecture my mom

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My parents: How come you never socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Goodbye everyone. I will remember you all in therapy

me, going into a public restroom at 7 AM and seeing a sparkly clean toilet with blue water:

Nobody: The worm in RFK Jr.'s brain: NOW BAN THE POLIO VACCINE!

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It's 2.50am here and I have a final interview tomorrow, for a job I really, really want, at 9am. | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

How I sleep knowing that I have a big day tomorrow and need as much rest as possible

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The faces of Squidward | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Source: bryko official-spongebob-fan... bryko: | These are all from the same episode 136,103 notes

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The panic is real | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Me removing my credit card from the gas station pump after it says to do it quickly Sfi

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It isn't Free Balloon Day, pal. | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

*Takes longer than one nanosecond to place scanned item in the bagging area* The self-checkout machine:

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Friday night shenanigans | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

alcohol my friend encouraging me to do dumb s---

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Seeing my new format die in new | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

when stepsister gets stuck and asks for your help

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When An Old Friend Unfollows You B/C You Ignore Them | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

when someone who did you dirty tries to come back into your life NAH

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Enjoy the season while it last. | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Everybody with kids getting their W-2s Me who was just bragging about not having kids

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle... | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

How I expect filters to fix my face NE How they really fix my face

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We’re doing so well 2020 is going to be great | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

It hasn't even been a month yet and look how well we're doing U.S.A and Iran Australia philippines China

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It do be like that | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

when you realize that the only reason you're tired is because you stay up late for no real purpose but to look at memes IT'S.. ME WHO'S GOT ME

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Stop mom, don't do this | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

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SpongeBob SquarePants - It was just a joke | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

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