Shared by the Facebook page of a local business | /r/ComedyCemetery | Comedy Cemetery | Know Your Meme

to do list 1. Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public. 2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other. 3. Wear shirt that says "Life." Hand out lemons on street corner. 4. Get into a crowded elevator and say "I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here today." 5. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that. 6. Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell "It worked!" and run out cheering. 7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula. 8. Change name to Simon. Speak in third person. 9. Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say "Help! I've been turned into a parrot." 10. Follow joggers around in your car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.

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I accomplished so much in my life as a scientist I raised 5 Scientists

IT'S THE YEAR 2023, CHRISTIANITY IS NO LONGER RELEVANT! 2023 YEARS SINCE WHAT?? MERRY CHRISTMAS! TRAD WEST

Kids now a days: "Shut up mom!" Mom: *shuts up* Tracymemes22 Me, back in the day: shut up mom! Me: wh-where am I? Doctor: The E.R... it's taken us 6 hours to remove this shoe from your a

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I gotta dig bick. you that read wrong. that awkward when you read that wrong too. And said "moment" after awkward. This is awkward.

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SHE'S LOSING A LOT OF SODA! DO SOMETHING, DR. PEPPER! NOW I HAVE TO TELL THEM I ONLY HAVE A PH.D. IN DELICIOUSNESS. Sonte Coke POpper facebook Cartoons METZGER Soda truth was revealed. Dr Pepper only had a doctorate in theoretical Fizz-ics. Coca-Cola

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B E G O N E T H O T | /r/ComedyCemetery

Basic Girl The worst possible h--- sapian ever to be created. They will steal your money, use dog filter, and cryig emoji. If you see this species, stay away. They will sleep with you and leave with your wallet, car, and Desktop PC. WALKING THROUGH THE STREET BASIC GIRL: Hey your cute YOU: HOIY f--- THOT DETECTED CALLS 911 911 OPERATOR: 911, whats your emergency? YOU: THOTINBOUND 911 OPERATOR: OH S--- REAL DANGER COP: BEGONETHO T!!!! BASIC GIRL: Da Mn [HORRIFYING SCREAMS]

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Sent to me by my dad | /r/ComedyCemetery

PESE BUY ONE BURGER FOR THE PRICE OF TWO AND RECEIVEA SECOND BURGER ABSOLUTELY FREE! 185T Greatest Deal Ever

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PERSON: WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR DANK MEMES FROM? ME: You wouldn't get it PERSON: All right, then. Keep your secrets.

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Hah yeah he destroyed her amirite? | /r/ComedyCemetery

I found out that my son is going to try and get himself vaccinated when he turns 18 in a month. How can I stop him? Answered th ago Accept that you have raised a son who is more intelligent than you. H-------- you f------ killed her dude

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get smartphOWNED! | /r/ComedyCemetery

I just had my first kiss Like foreal with a lady? Yeah!!!!! YOUR MOM DOESNT COUNT! Yeah but urs does START WRITING YOUR WILL! O smartphOWNED.com Send Destruction Level: 100

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Good ol’ twitter | /r/ComedyCemetery

emmy @sistermarychuck Husband: We're going to Home Depot to get taco bowls. My fat ass: Home Depot has taco bowls?? Him: TOGGLE BOLTS. Me, disappointed: Oh. Ok.

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sow the seed, do the deed. | /r/ComedyCemetery

SAFELY ENDANGERED son, it's time we had the sex talk do it do it as Much as possible life is short

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I work as a teacher, and many of them sent this in our group chat... | /r/ComedyCemetery

Teachers in September: WORLDS BEST BOSS Teachers in January I hate Mondays

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I hate these | /r/ComedyCemetery

LISTENING TO GANGSTARAP ON MYWAY BACK TO MCDONALDS BECAUSE THEY ONLY GAVE ME 5 CHICKY NUGGIES INSTEAD OF 6

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Hmm | /r/ComedyCemetery

ME NETFLIX THE WITCHER Why do you always say “hmm"? ME NETFLIX Hmmmm... f--- HE WITCHER

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