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My parents: How come you never socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Goodbye everyone. I will remember you all in therapy

me, going into a public restroom at 7 AM and seeing a sparkly clean toilet with blue water:

Nobody: The worm in RFK Jr.'s brain: NOW BAN THE POLIO VACCINE!

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Moar:

Nat Peterson, you are going to jail | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

How i imagined drug dealers as a Actual drug dealers kid

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When you dont have cash | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When the card declined so you gotta do the dash on 'em McDonald's @beautiful memeiness

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Tail as old as time | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Girl in college: gets bad grades Teacher she has bad grades with: Any particular reason youltook your pants off?

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Wack | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When you see the customer who asked for a free water cup at the soda machine getting sprite

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Longest dump of your life | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When you just let it rip in the handicap stall and you see a pair of wheels roll up ON NEPTUNE

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Protecting patty formula with sage of the grill mode. | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When you have to step up yo game to protect the Krusty Krab secret formula

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Cross over | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Half of my respiratory organs were destroyed.

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Report card came back so | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

*Dad takes belt off* Мe:

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Balanced as all things should be | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When you tell the doctor your eating habits Some roast beef some chicken a pizza made with mematic

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Don't forget who ended up winning The Great Snail Race! | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

How my parents raised me safdnow, mister! Getgoing, Gary! How I'll raise my kid It's okay, Rocky You go when you feel like it.

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Can I have some? | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

We Made The 1886 Coca Cola Recipe Hold up

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They age like fine wine | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Even though he had his doubts, SpongeBob soon realized that Patrick knew what he was talking about when describing GILFS

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SpongeBob SquarePants - not enough holes | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

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me: girls in hentai: u/h4ge

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Uploaded Dec 03, 2019 at 01:12AM EST

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