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Nobody: America's Got Talent Contestants: Dwas born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning Obreak my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. Atnight, Ilay awake in agony until my heart attacks put ime to sleep."

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My parents: How come you never socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Goodbye everyone. I will remember you all in therapy

me, going into a public restroom at 7 AM and seeing a sparkly clean toilet with blue water:

Nobody: The worm in RFK Jr.'s brain: NOW BAN THE POLIO VACCINE!

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Moar:

Whichever boomer finds the answer they can have my account! | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Scientists: Light only travels in straight lines. Light :*bends around a very small obstacle in its path* Scientists :that's impossible. LIGHT Wanna see me do it again?

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SpongeBob has tumors and mercury poisoning | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

pollution is killing the ocen 000 pollution is killing SpongeBob

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A one way conversation | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When you join somebody's live stream but you're the only one in it KNCOrCoONERY

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Ah yes, a man of culture. | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

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Truth | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

WHEN YOU CLOSE ALL APPS AND ACCIDENTALLY CLOSE THE MUSIC

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Be kind, took me forever. | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When you hit her from behind and say says "Hunger Dinger Durgen" Nut

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Another day, old friend | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When you've finally decided on what c------- compilation to watch, but yo girl comes home early

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Sometime you got to show who’s boss | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

when a girl with drawn on eyebrows starts acting up

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One of the few tweets posted to the twitter subreddit. A glorious moment | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

ll Verizon 16:54 84% Lauren @Lauren_Fruit So this weekend, my friend and her roommates threw a Spongebob- themed Halloween party and it was so much F.U.N #spongebob #Nickelodeon @SpongeBob @Nickelodeon WELCOME TD Tweet your reply

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When your Lasik surgery went well | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

2020 THE KRUSTY KRAB

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Woops. | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

When you get back with your ex and your friend who helped you through all the trauma finds out

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I’LL SAVE YOU QUICKSTER! | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

My earbuds 5 seconds after putting them up:

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SpongeBob SquarePants - Shin Lim is OP | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

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Nobody: America's Got Talent Contestants: Dwas born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning Obreak my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. Atnight, Ilay awake in agony until my heart attacks put ime to sleep."

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