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When you're getting home after a night of partying and ppl are on their way to work

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My parents: How come you never socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Goodbye everyone. I will remember you all in therapy

me, going into a public restroom at 7 AM and seeing a sparkly clean toilet with blue water:

Nobody: The worm in RFK Jr.'s brain: NOW BAN THE POLIO VACCINE!

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me: *bites my burger* everything on the burger:

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Starting University Finishing Highschool

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Never lose your AirPods. Introducing AirPods Strap.

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Teacher: u can't hear pictures Me: made with mematic

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AND HERE COMES THE GIANT FIST 4:22 PM 15 Jan 2019

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Now, you ve got water wings. Try them. (chuckles) proteus-no okay so maybe modern spongebob has some gems in it

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Spongebob: The Adult Cartoon | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

LOOK,DOUBLOONS! SOAP DONT DROP EM! dankbob_memepants My parents: Me not understanding the joke until high school: Wt EZE

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When you roast the sensitive friend in your group and try to make up for hurting their feelings.

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Old men in the locker room ME

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Amy @amymarkscouk there's a new guy at work starting called Wayne Bruce and I said "ah, my old nemesis ManBat" and nobody got it honestly i am wasted here Hello. You've reached the house of unrecoghized talent.

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Who’s Joe? | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

Teacher in 2030: *taking attendance* Teacher: Did I forget anyone?? Student: Yeah, you forgot Joe Teacher:

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SpongeBob SquarePants - 5am gang wya | /r/BikiniBottomTwitter

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When you're getting home after a night of partying and ppl are on their way to work

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Uploaded Oct 21, 2019 at 09:17PM EDT

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