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Dad: What are your plans with my daughter? Ме:

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My parents: How come you never socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Goodbye everyone. I will remember you all in therapy

me, going into a public restroom at 7 AM and seeing a sparkly clean toilet with blue water:

Nobody: The worm in RFK Jr.'s brain: NOW BAN THE POLIO VACCINE!

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ALEX DEGEN MAGIC SERPLE 2018 @ADACTIVITY The pacific ocean has 3.9 stars out of five on google maps Who the f--- is downvoting the ocean Pacific Ocean Weite a revlew 3.8 Sort by: Most relevant 2,736 reviews Sandy Cheeks 9 hours ago I wish I was back in Texas. The ocean is no place for a squirrel. I wish I was back in Texas, the prettiest place in the world. I guess deep in my heart, l'l always be a Texas girl. I wanna go hoo00o000o000ome. 23

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Yes.. so funny.. Gerald, please make that joke again | r/BikiniBottomTwitter

when someone makes a joke about something ur lowkey insecure about 0D

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SpongeBob SquarePants - She want that tarter sauce | r/BikiniBottomTwitter

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