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Jewish kid: is born Rabbi I've come for your pickle.

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My parents: How come you never socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Goodbye everyone. I will remember you all in therapy

me, going into a public restroom at 7 AM and seeing a sparkly clean toilet with blue water:

Nobody: The worm in RFK Jr.'s brain: NOW BAN THE POLIO VACCINE!

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*At McDonald's* Me:" Are the ice cream machines working?" Cashier:" Yes they are what would you like to order?" Me: I don't know. I didn't think I'd get this far...

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Redditor: tbh spongebob isn't even good people just like the memes Me

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Me explaining to my class how the annexation of Serbia by Franz Ferdinand eventually led to Stanley from the Office dropping a stack of hentai in a deleted scene and referring to it as "art"

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F is for friends who don't talk to you. U is for Ur alone. N is for Never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home. N

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ILL HAVE YOU KNOW THE US WENT ALL SUMMER WITHOUTASCHOOL SHOOTING imgflip.com

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Child: *dies* Oompa Loompas:

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RST

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SpongeBob SquarePants - Thanks rabbi | r/BikiniBottomTwitter

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Jewish kid: is born Rabbi I've come for your pickle.

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Uploaded Aug 08, 2019 at 10:46PM EDT

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