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Man robs bank by releasing 350 pounds of ants into building, claims to be Ant Marn June 10, 2015 marswatney deducecanoe I AS ONE DOES HOW MANY ANTS IN A POUND OF ANTS

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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A story for the ages

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a f------ experience. Before the surgery wasn't too interesting but as soon as I woke upI saw the nurse next to me and was all like hey... i think... i died... and now I'm in a parallel universe... and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe" and he was just kinda like "alright, you do that". And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like "damn... why are there so many of you... there's like 5 many of you" and she was just kinda like "alright, you do that". Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like "how ya feeling son" in the dadliest way possible and I was like "MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I'M STARVED" so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say "I'm good I can do this" and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some f------ battle and holler "WHATS UP F----" to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look. So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly f------ lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits.I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says "hey are you going to order or what". Keep in mind I'm on the first f------ smoothie on the list here. So I just say "shush man I'm trying to do fruit science", and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said yeah give me a smooth regular" which for the uninitiated, isn't actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the "boosted" smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made "lightning noises". So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some s--- and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says "how ya feelin?". Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say "there's these f-----... tiny sheep in my head" which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel ( stll have them) Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehovw and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn't find the status update bar) that read: i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice" This may be the funniest thing I have ever read There are actual tears coming out of my face More awesome pics at FUNsubstance.com

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Lemon Satan Demands S̯a̧̜͓c͇͓̝̺͍̦r̴̹͈̻̣̯̗i̕ͅf͇̠̪̦̙i҉̗͈͉͔̙ͅc̜e̞͘s̤̹̗̮̼͚

kittiesinthemorning l just don't understand how this happened. But here's a picture of a lemon from my backyard scientificperfection WHAT THE EVERLOVING F--- buttpilgrimm when life gives you

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the only bad art style is the family guy style

positivepatton bean mouth" and Fun Fact: your "weird" OC and "Tumblr nose" and dot eyes or anime eyes or whatever are actually extremely cute. Certain art styles aren't inherently "ugly" or "bad." zdartstuff the only bad art style is the family guy style rani-boww this is a good addition

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There are literal pedophiles on Tumblr. Genuine child molesters.

valucard tumblr is a very bad website but outsiders call it bad for all the wrong reasons blad-the-inhaler n-umbir ha supidgiiingover yaol and microagressions al day lol all day lol Tumblr: Do You Understand There Are Train-Fetishizing Nazis Here tsu-anti Like you hear someone complaining about social justice warriors and then have to explain to them that there are literal pedophiles on here bragging about molesting a stalking children

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Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument. More At Six.

iguanamouth i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said "ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there" and i said "well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?" and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said "lets watch sonic the hedgehog dinogatorr tumors grow, are they supposed to be there? its called "evolution", just because its there doesnt mean its useful or wanted. geekandmisandry Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument. More At Six.

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MicHELLe

First Michelle name cannot contain bad word: hell dingdongyouarewrong: are you s------- me

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God of war has finally matured

KotakuO @Kotaku God of War has finally grown up. bit.ly /2FhMMav 4:15 PM -25 Apr 2018 1 Retweet 28 Likes God of War is what a 'mature' game looks like in 2018 Kratos has grown up with us, kinda By Ben Kuchera : Apr 25,2018, 9:00am EDT harmonicstupidity harmonicstupidit Petition to dump all game journalists into a volcano so we can finally be free from their horrible takes forever Okay but seriously F--- this cliche about how games "need to grow up" You wanna know what mature is? What it actually is? Treating your audience with respect. That's it. That's all it is. Demon's Souls, for all intents and purposes, treats you with respect. Chrono Trigger treats you with respect Mature being synonymous with grim and moody and 'talking about the real issues is just a dumb meme these joyless chucklefucks have concocted to validate their existence

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You blog like this?

gaystation-4 me looking at tumblrs with four column layouts like: Damn, bitch, you BLOG like this? DADDY pantsalmighty I feel like this is inaccurate, as the bottom half of blocks should still be loading. pantsalmighty Damn, bitch, you BLOG like this? Fixed

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FUNNy Funny funny FUNNY FUNNY funny humor Humor Humor funney FUnny humor LOL LOL LOL LOL HaHa

primordia!dream kin tumblr cringe queerplatonic toes minecraft undertale steven universe asexual moga FUNNy Funny funny FUNNY FUNNY funny humor Humor Humor funney FUnny humor LOL LOL LOL LOL HaHa hauntparlk Welcome To Jokes. Welcome To JOKES

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Special snowflakes

hauntpark blogger bio: sapiosexual, intellectual, bibliophile, dreaded straight cis Caucasian male, anti-skeleton, anti feminist, capitalist, Irish/german/Italian-american tumblr: blogger bio: asexual, they/them pronouns please tumblr: check out this fffFFFFUCKING SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE

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It's nowhere!

me trying to find where l asked for your opinion

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bring back my voodoo doll pls

itchycoil Whenever you're feeling sudden calm its because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill roachpatrol thank you

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Tumblr - Man robs bank with 350 pounds of ants, claims to be the Ant Man

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Man robs bank by releasing 350 pounds of ants into building, claims to be Ant Marn June 10, 2015 marswatney deducecanoe I AS ONE DOES HOW MANY ANTS IN A POUND OF ANTS

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