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spanishskulduggery Do you ever find things you wrote when you were little and just really want to die a little? spanishskulduggery Me at age 11: “I am a sea of feelings. I am an em ocean. Emocean underlined three times

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omfg i remember what i wrote as a kid i still am but still

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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being richer than god

전 fightingdreamers jk rowling and notch are both members of my case study "does being richer than god turn you into a f------ moron" and it turns out the answer is a hard yes

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Winter olympics are metal as fuck

Summer Olympics: Who can run the fastest? :) Who can swim the fastest?:) Who can do the best somersault? Winter Olympics: WHO CAN MAKE IT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS ICE SLIDE OF DEATH AND SURVIVE?? WHO CAN GET AROUND THE RINK WITHOUT GETTING THEIR HANDS SLICED OFF BY EVERYONE ELSE'S FEET BLADES?? CAN THIS GUY DO A 1080 DEGREE FLIP WITHOUT DYING??

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Bruh

gumball Source: wethinkwedream a-little-insane: wethinkwedream What if clouds and lakes switched spots and every time you looked up you'd see waves being pulled by the moon and we'd wade through the clouds on a hot day. What if birds grew grass and the ground grew feathers. What if flowers were as tall as trees and trees as small as flowers. I'll have whatever he's having. 204,985 notes

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"Measure of Intelligence"

Can you read? Cantr you host? you know how to read and all that stuff? I'm fourt immy. I'm fourteen. rockthrowingman Where'd you get that accent from Millle Well, Y es when you ive So are you British? Yeah, I thi Patronize these kids at your own risk. my-little-ninja Tlhe Washington Times HOME NEWS OPINION POLITICS CULTURE 2' n this Jan. 8, 2018 photo, Jimmy Kimmel participates in the Jimmy Kimmel: Late-night hosts are liberal ‘because it requires a measure of intelligence'

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The aspiration of all true artists

lesserjoke DIE HARD was an adaptation of the novel Nothing Lasts Forever, the sequel to another book called The Detective. That one had already been made into a movie starring Frank Sinatra, and when he declined to return for the sequel, the plot was initially reworked to become a sequel to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie COMMANDO instead. Only when he too passed on the project did it get rewritten again into its final form. DIE HARDER was an adaptation of the novel 58 Minutes, which is by a different author and is entirely unrelated to Nothing Lasts Forever. Characters and plot details were reworked in adaptation so that the movie could function as a DIE HARD sequel. DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE began life as an original script called Simon Says. It went through several iterations, including one where it was a LETHAL WEAPON sequel, before eventually being reworked to be the third DIE HARD. (There had earlier been a script specifically written to be the third DIE HARD movie, but Bruce Willis rejected it as too similar to the first movies. That one was later reworked to become SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL.) LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD began as an original script called WW3.com. It too was purchased and rewritten to be a DIE HARD film. A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD, the latest movie in the series, was actually written specifically as a sequel. However, its original title was Die Hard 24/7, and it was intended as a crossover with the recently-ended television show 24. When that plan fell apart, the Jack Bauer character was rewritten to be John McClane's adult son. Anyway, the moral of the story is to never let yourself get discouraged! Despite unlikely beginnings and early setbacks, you too could someday be rewritten to be a DIE HARD film.

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Where is the lie

horhardaho Follow F------ ess jay dubya's, trying to deny my right to deny other people rights... #antisjw #antisj #racism #homophobia 15 notes horhardaho Follow I sure wish people would stop getting so hung-up on labels... Also if you identify with feminism or black lives matter then you automatically support hate movements. #hypocrisy #antisjw #anti feminism #feminism 4 notes

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Please take a good long look at yourselves and then ask yourself "Why am I disliking this?" Do you want to dislike this because it calls you out? Or do you feel like you're being personally attacked? I'm not saying those ARE the reasons, but think.

The Anti-SJW Hypocrisy: A comprehensive guide Some random"a------": All I want for Christmas is white genocide. The joke: White genocide is a conspiracy theory/alt-right talking point that goes as such: being against racism and being for immigration is anti-white, because you're telling white people to not be racist or xenophobic. No white people have actually ever been mass-murdered because they're white. Only people who actually think people say this s--- unironically would think this guy is racist. Anti-SJWs Look at this racist man say this s---, why aren't the liberals talking about this??? And he tries to use the justification of it being a "joke" to try and hide it!!! WHITE PEOPLE ARE GETTING KILLED FOR BEING WHITE Some other a------ KILL ALL JEWS The joke: It's just a cheap potshot to try and offend people by using antisemitism, and basically makes a joke out of killing an entire people when attempts to exterminate them have actually happened. The alt-right want jokes like this to be left alone because then it will make discrimination seem like a joke. Anti-SJWs kek why are the libtard sjews getting so triggered???? it's just a joke stop getting so offended you oversensitive soy boy beta nu-male cucks

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Economics: the biggest "it's just a prank bro" of the late decades

cup-a-fear How long until the next economic crash, lads? femoids Soon, but it's just my social experiment, it's a prank femoids The 'everything bubble could pop in 2018 NEWS.com.au - Jan 13, 2018 It is frankly scary': World financial system as stretched as before Stuff.co.nz - 8 hours ago Lmao. Subscribe cup-a-fear @femoids Has It Begun? http://time.com/money /5132906/stock-market-crashing-what-to-do/ cup-a-fear On February 5th 2018, the Dow Jones stock market crashed down 1,175 points, the single most loss of points in a day. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stock_market_crash femoids It's a prank, don't worry Source: cup-a-fear 2,407 notes

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Disgruntledturtle regrets asking

disgruntledturtle Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat equalistmako "Why hello there, little children-. Please follow me to my magical... FITNESS ROOM. NO PANSIESALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT.LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT'S LEG DAY AND WE'RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D. seasonoftowers Because they're always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone. ES thatickything well you did ask defilerwyrm Also there's wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat. mrtacomam you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

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Just no

wojtekghost = kittenpunk a Source: mightyflower mightyflower to quote hamlet act III scene ii line 92, "no 68,719 notes け-

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It all makes sense now...

tumblr. it's a 1 not L we've been doing it wrong So it's technically tumboner? ...what? And suddenly everything makes so much more sense tumboner im so done omfg This is the plot twist of all plots twists. I bet the staff is laughing at us now

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Of medicines and wizardly

vague-yet-menacing why do 90% of all medicines sound like cool wizard names vague-yet-menacing it is i, Zyrtec the allmighty vague-yet-menacing you are no match for Xanax the Wise sasstricbypass viagra

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spanishskulduggery Do you ever find things you wrote when you were little and just really want to die a little? spanishskulduggery Me at age 11: “I am a sea of feelings. I am an em ocean. Emocean underlined three times

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