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current aesthetic: cute english teacher who's high key banging the history professor current aesthetic: ape going back in time to end this post before it continue

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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Frustratingly small fandoms

·*T fleurbot WHEN U LOVE SOMETHING SO HARD BUT THE FANDOM CONSISTS OF APPROXIMATELY SIX OTHER PEOPLE ANDA SHOELACE

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OK.

zuzu-and-friends when two bees fight its called a bumble-rumble 16 notes

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Nouns vs. Nouns™

gbtqpjo People need to realize that there's a difference between straight people and Straight People™ thehumorousace Straight person: Hey you got a new haircut. Looks really good Straight Person™ No h---, but your haircut looks good on you In case you were confused thesoftgrape Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays poonpie White people who are gay: "I'm gay White Gays: " can't believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slurl I mean, I know what racism looks like because I've been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? IM GAYI karajames Idon't expect you to understand that because you're not a minority 'm not a minority? robotbisexual Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging bye-onara neurotypical: i don't have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™ Happiness is a choice" Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale catf8sh cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender Cis Person: It doesn't matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I'm not being offensivell Read a book on Human Biologyl 1 livebloggingmydescentintomadness men: I identify as male Men™ feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch anonymouscatperson Deactivated atheists: I don't believe in god or identify with a religion Atheists Don't f------ talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed- f-------minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians) phil-of-the-phuture nice guys: heyI know when not to invade someone's space and I totally respect boundaries Nice GuysTM IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO F--- ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME? lilkittynellie feminist: I believe in equality for everything between the sexes Feminist TM: ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES AND SHOULD DIE! WE DONT NEED ANY OF THEM ANYWAYS AND THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING GOOD FOR USII seereethepagan Christian: I believe in God and his son Jesus Christian™: We must Obey Bible In Everything and Take It Literally and if you don't do it you're Going To HellI I'm praying for you to find God and have your sins Forgivenl Other religions are from Satan and So is Atheisml brittonofarc Asexuals I don't have any sort of sexual attractions to any gender or person Aces: Gays are evil, bis are evil, trans are evil, also why am I not on the F------ LGBTQ+ SPECTRUM

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Don't forget those ads of cartoon porn that somehow has a weirdly accurate artstyle

snoopingasusualisee the word "cartoon" in itself is a perfectly okay word to use but once you start saying "toon" i'nm gonna immediately stop you right there before i start thinking of airbrushed early 2000s hanna barbera and family guy porrn snoopingasusualisee Carly.co sp100 apLook Search a SplashFace ToonJuice Eaiu Qaual Wae moas see toonjuice right there? bet you dime a dozen that's where spencer goes to see some hot simpsons action

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Why I always have to pick Argonians when I play TES games

rasec-wizzlbang: I cant stop thinking about the fact that, during the oblivion crisis, the Argonians in Blackmarsh kicked dagon's ass so hard, they launched a counter-invasion into Oblivion, and forced the daedra to start closing their own oblivion gates to keep the argonians out And keep in mind, Dagon's plane of Oblivion is the Deadlands, literally hell You basically had a bunch of Lizard Doomguys launching an invasion on Hell

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Power Bloggers

tumblr. LOG ON TRINI HERE READY TO BLOG!SUMBIT YOUR NUDEZ THIS IS BILLY W--! WHO UNFOLLOWED ME! ZACK HERE THIS S--- CRAY!

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Marry yourself with your favorite food

saddestblogger my surprise soup themed wedding me: rolls a single can of soup down the isle before I start walking* guests: ????????????????????????????? me

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Legend has it that OP proceeded to update their Facebook wall with a semi edgy quote some random writer said about life.

OMG so I just figured out the word "hurt" it's past, present and future you will be hurt you are hurt you were hurt BECAUSE IF SOMETHING TRULY HURT, IT NEVER REALLY STOPS you poetic little s--- it's because... it's an adjective... you will be stupid you are stupid you were stupid

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Post from 3 days ago. It has not gone much better over the years...

not to be rude but im finding it hard for me to get along with people who aren't gay or mentally il Tumblr™ hi, i'd much appreciate if you'd never reblog another post of mine again in your short miserable time on this earth Tumblr™ version 2.0 MAY 13, 2017 (6:51 PM) 353 12 NOTES

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Like a true American.

civilwhore approach Follow slavery Americans have literally no banter eyeofthelionfish idk what country this is coming from but we've probably beaten you in a war at some point slavery I'm American thescourge-sisters Civil war magicalana #America: "ill kick anyone's ass, I'll kick your ass. I'll kick your dogs ass. I'll kick my own ass" Source: slavery

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In this episode of internet logic...

There's no reason for anyone over the age of 21 to be having a conversation with anyone under the age of 18 "For the last time son, I wont talk to you." it "im sorry students, but this is the last time im gonna say this. Stop trying to talk to me" "I'm afraid I can't hire you, I cannot speak to you." "I would tell that kid to get off my lawn, but society isn't ready yet" "my new born baby just said it's first word but I'm not trying to hear that" "hello 911?1? help my parents are in a burnin build-" "i dunnoo kid... you sound just a little young and... .dk... im not really feelin too comfortable with this" *hangs up*

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Rhetorical question or just a burn

robloxgf how dare u reblog my posts but not follow me suicidalnautilus If you find a gold bar in a trash bag, will you take the whole trash can, or just the gold bar? robloxgf the f---

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Tumblr - Go back to the past and undo the unspeakable evil

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current aesthetic: cute english teacher who's high key banging the history professor current aesthetic: ape going back in time to end this post before it continue

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